8 Myths About Relationships

Since we all have been, are currently, or will be in a "relationship," the following excerpt from Morrie and Arleah Shechtman's book Love in the Present Tense, is refreshingly invaluable. I had the great privilege of working with, and being coached/mentored by the Shechtmans over an 18 month period several years ago when I worked as an Operations Director for a Fortune 200 company in Cedar Rapids, IA. My experiences with them and their teachings have enhanced my personal and professional life significantly throughout the years. In their trademark "caring for" vs. "caretaking" style, the Shechtmans continue to tell it like it is...

Across the country, marriages are in trouble. The divorce rate remains high and more and more people are joining the ranks of the walking wounded, desperately looking for some way to hold their families together. In their groundbreaking book, Love in the Present Tense: How to Have a High Intimacy, Low Maintenance Marriage, relationship experts Morrie and Arleah Shechtman challenge the conventional wisdom that has held our collective consciousness hostage since the inception of the pop therapy phenomenon.

The Shechtmans debunk eight myths surrounding marriage and offer contrasting realities:

1. Myth: Opposites attract. A couple, in their differences, complements each other.
   Reality: Great relationships require identical core values.
2. Myth: Love will carry you through the hard times in a relationship.
   Reality: It is shared values that pull you through a crisis.
3. Myth: You need to work on your marriage if you want it to be good.
   Reality: Relationships don't have problems; people do.
4. Myth: Selflessness and giving to others builds the best relationships.
   Reality: Clear limits and boundaries build mutual respect and lasting relationships.
5. Myth: Unconditional acceptance of your partner is the foundation of a good marriage.
   Reality: If you don't make demands on your partner, then you don't really care.
6. Myth: Frequent conflicts are a sign that a marriage is in trouble.
   Reality: Your willingness to engage in conflict determines the depth and quality of your relationship.
7. Myth: Spending lots of time together is very important.
   Reality: The best relationships are low maintenance/high intimacy.
8. Myth: Trusting your partner is essential to a good relationship.
   Reality: It is trusting yourself that is essential.

If you're intrigued, BUY the book. For more information about Morrie and Arleah Shecthman's work, visit www.morrieandarleah.com

©2008 Tom Leu