Comments on: choice not force http://tomleu.com/blog/choice-not-force/ "seeing things" ... perspectives on music, marketing, & motivation Sun, 29 Aug 2010 18:56:37 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 By: Sara http://tomleu.com/blog/choice-not-force/comment-page-1/#comment-46 Sara Tue, 20 Jan 2009 04:22:19 +0000 http://tomleu.com/blog/?p=434#comment-46 And I just realized, another way in which working out and personal development are similar is that they both work best with a coach- someone who knows what they're doing & can offer guidance. But, that's all they can do is be a guide; you still have to do the hard work yourself. Sara And I just realized, another way in which working out and personal development are similar is that they both work best with a coach- someone who knows what they’re doing & can offer guidance. But, that’s all they can do is be a guide; you still have to do the hard work yourself.

Sara

]]> By: Sara http://tomleu.com/blog/choice-not-force/comment-page-1/#comment-45 Sara Fri, 16 Jan 2009 20:52:15 +0000 http://tomleu.com/blog/?p=434#comment-45 I think a big part of the reason why some get overhwhelmed and want to quit is because personal development will inevitably make us feel "self-conscious". I find it interesting that to be self-aware means being aware of oneself, including one's traits, feelings, and behaviors; but that being self-conscious means being excessively aware of being observed by others & socially ill at ease. Self-consciousness has a negative connotation; it implies discomfort and vulnerability. But, like everything else, it's all a matter of perspective. Feeling self-conscious can actually be a good thing. If you are feeling embarrassed about an aspect of your behavior, then it's likely that you won't repeat the behavior. Granted, no one likes experiencing that kind of discomfort. But it's only temporary, and the benefits gained from the lessons learned will last a lifetime and far outweigh any short-lived feelings of insecurity. So the next time you're feeling "self-conscious" you can be encouraged by the fact that at least you know you'll never be THAT girl (or guy) again. Everyone screws up. The true test is whether or not you can learn from it. This also plays into being irritated with those who do "do it" all the time. When we encounter information that makes us feel "self-conscious" we get defensive and there is a temptation to shift the focus (or blame) and attack the source because it's easier than conducting an honest self-assessment. How we feel about WHAT is being said can influence how we feel about WHO it is that is saying it. We've all heard the age-old aphorism "Don't shoot the messenger." Rather, we need to acknowledge that we wouldn't be feeling defensive if we didn't think that there was at least a little truth in the message. Ultimately, there doesn't have to be much of a difference between self-awareness vs. self-consciousness. Both can produce the same kind of net positive effect. It's all a matter of how willing you are to be honest with yourself, and how committed you are to investing the necessary amount of work in yourself. Sara I think a big part of the reason why some get overhwhelmed and want to quit is because personal development will inevitably make us feel “self-conscious”. I find it interesting that to be self-aware means being aware of oneself, including one’s traits, feelings, and behaviors; but that being self-conscious means being excessively aware of being observed by others & socially ill at ease. Self-consciousness has a negative connotation; it implies discomfort and vulnerability. But, like everything else, it’s all a matter of perspective. Feeling self-conscious can actually be a good thing. If you are feeling embarrassed about an aspect of your behavior, then it’s likely that you won’t repeat the behavior. Granted, no one likes experiencing that kind of discomfort. But it’s only temporary, and the benefits gained from the lessons learned will last a lifetime and far outweigh any short-lived feelings of insecurity. So the next time you’re feeling “self-conscious” you can be encouraged by the fact that at least you know you’ll never be THAT girl (or guy) again. Everyone screws up. The true test is whether or not you can learn from it.

This also plays into being irritated with those who do “do it” all the time. When we encounter information that makes us feel “self-conscious” we get defensive and there is a temptation to shift the focus (or blame) and attack the source because it’s easier than conducting an honest self-assessment. How we feel about WHAT is being said can influence how we feel about WHO it is that is saying it. We’ve all heard the age-old aphorism “Don’t shoot the messenger.” Rather, we need to acknowledge that we wouldn’t be feeling defensive if we didn’t think that there was at least a little truth in the message.

Ultimately, there doesn’t have to be much of a difference between self-awareness vs. self-consciousness. Both can produce the same kind of net positive effect. It’s all a matter of how willing you are to be honest with yourself, and how committed you are to investing the necessary amount of work in yourself.

Sara

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