Jul/090
square peg-round hole syndrome
Got goals?
Got big dreams and plans that you’ve been harboring and hinting at for a long time?
Here’s a news flash:
Whatever your big plans or intentions are…
If you haven’t done it by now; if you haven’t acted on your aspirations; you probably aren’t going to.
Game over.
Get off the merry-go-round and get on with your life.
Move on and make room for what really matters to you.
The argument is that if it hasn’t happened yet, there’s a reason. And the likely reason is that you haven’t put the necessary time and effiort into it to make IT happen.
And the reason for that is because you don’t care enough about IT to do what’s necessary ongoing. You’re either not doing things right, or not doing enough of the right things.
You like the IDEA of it more than the REALITY of it. It sounds good in theory, but doesn’t play in the real world.
What truly matters to us is that which not only gets our attention, but gets our action. If it’s all talk, then it’s just crap. Intention without action is useless. There’s got to be consistent action taken over time to really make things happen. There has to be a commitment to the details in order for the dream to become the reality.
This only happens by focusing on and doing that which we really love. Letting go of the ought to’s and should do’s frees up space on our mental hard drives and affords us the opportunity to focus on that which we WILL do.
Seth Godin’s book, The Dip, correctly suggests that there may be a right time to QUIT certain things, at certain times, if they are no longer serving us. I agree.
The “square peg-round hole syndrome” results when people try to be something they’re not. To do something they’re not cut out to do. It occurs when people believe in an idea about themselves, or a version of themselves, that at the end of the day, isn’t who they really are, and thus never materializes.
It’s not that they’re bad or unintelligent or unmotivated. It’s that they’re trying to FORCE it. And when we force things… things usually get broken.
This often happens to people when they try living up to faulty internal or misguided external expectations that may be decades old.
If any of this is ringing true for you… it’s time to get out of fantasy and into reality.
It may be time to trim the fat, get focused, get free from the fantasy. It’s OK, really.
If you’ve been spinning your wheels trying to get somewhere you thought you wanted to go, never seeming to arrive at your destination… it’s time to reconsider your destination and your motives for wanting to go there in the first place. Don’t try to be something you’re not.
Tell the truth. Be honest with yourself about what you like and don’t like; what you’re good at and what you’re not. Only undertake those things that really mean something to you. Those things that you’re truly passionate about. Those things that keep you up late at night and get you up early in the morning. Those things that you’d do for free. Marry that passion with your natural abilities and skills. Those things that you really have a knack for. Those things that others recognize you’re good at. Those things that you do as well, or better than most others.
Combine this passion and this talent… THIS is where you should be. THIS is what you should be doing. THIS is where you should live.
Maybe you’ll make a business out it. Maybe you won’t. It doesn’t really matter. What matters is that you will NOW have the peace of mind knowing you are in the right place, at the right time, doing that which you are supposed to be doing, for all the right reasons.
And that is worth more than money.
That is all there is to do. Because “doing” this… is “being” who you are supposed to be.
And that is what the ”richest” among us eventually come to understand.
Game on.
“It doesn’t matter how much you want. What really matters is how much you want it.” – Ralph Marston
©2009 Tom Leu
Sep/080
living on purpose
“The secret of success is constancy of purpose.” – Benjamin Disraeli
A lot of people live life on accident instead of on purpose. In other words, we are reactive more than we are proactive. We are responding to life rather than creating it.
Living on purpose means to have, at least generally, an idea of where you want to go: a map → a plan → a goal. Writing down your purpose gives it life, and gives you direction and some accountability. This then gives your purpose more opportunity to become reality… which is what you want. When the unexpected twists and turns of life present themselves, we will regain our course sooner and with more certainty when we have a direction and a purpose for being. Got Purpose?
“We are all either building our own dreams or building somebody else’s.” – Jeff Olson
©2008 Tom Leu
Jun/080
dream stealers
Distance yourself from dream stealers; those people who take energy and inspiration from you rather than give it to you. Dream stealing often comes disguised as good advice,“for your own good.” There are two types of dream stealers… those who view you as:
1) a Nut – These people truly feel that your endeavors may be unrealistic or are unattainable. In an effort to be protective, they try to kill your enthusiasm in the name of helping you avoid future disappointments. Though their intentions may be good, the poisonous message they’re sending is that you aren’t good enough. Only you can decide that.
2) a Threat – These people cannot, or will not support you completely because you and your ambitions make them feel bad about themselves. You are a mirror to their own perceived inadequacies. There are strong elements of competition, jealousy, and envy present. They often react uninterested and/or apathetic to your efforts because you are inadvertently calling theirs into question. These are the worst kind of dream stealers that need to be avoided at all costs.
If you can’t turn them off, at least try to turn them down.
“We are all either building our own dreams or building somebody else’s.” – Jeff Olson, The Slight Edge

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