Aug/097
three-sixty-self
People are self-centered more than not.
Everyone’s favorite subject is themselves; whether they admit it or not.
And as such, each and every person is in the “sales” business.
Those who are truly successful at marketing, promoting, and persuading [anything] understand one key distinction:
!! Whatever you do or produce has to make people feel something about themselves to get them to respond.
Be it hope or fear, it’s the feelings tied to their emotions that people actually “buy” (literally or figuratively).
Your offering must move them emotionally first, before it will move them behaviorally.
Your offering must communicate something that is about them and for them.
If it’s about you or someone else, they’ll care less.
They’ll get bored and move on.
If they believe it’s about them, they’ll stay tuned in and interested.
Most people are most interested in that which relates to them and theirs.
To fill their needs by increasing their pleasure and by reducing their pain.
To discover ways to better their lives by enhancing what’s already good and/or by improving what’s not-so-good.
All of life’s pursuits, passions, and problems involve people endlessly searching for ways to fill these needs.
So you “make it” by filling a need by making it feel like it’s about them.
Make someone feel and you’ve now made a fan.
To do this, you must…
!! Present the universal that’s perceived as personal.
Then they will pay attention.
Then they will respond.
Which is what you want.
Which is also what you need.
Because this isn’t about them.
It’s actually about you.
It’s for you.
- To use
- to do
- what you need to do
- to feel the way
- you want to feel
- about you.
It’s a win-win.
And so the cycle begins again…
©2009 Tom Leu
Jul/090
Ratt Poison
It’s not about how good you are; it’s about how good of a communicator you are.
Example:
Many remember the 80’s rock bands Poison and Ratt. Like most of this era’s glam-metal groups, these two bands are often better known for their hair styles and lifestyles, rather than their music. Love them, hate them, or just plain don’t care, these two groups have sold millions of records throughout their careers and provide an excellent illustration of my opening 
statement.
The facts:
Ratt has sold about 16 million records worldwide since their debut release in 1983. Poison has sold about 26 million records since their debut in 1986. By 1987, Ratt were headlining arenas with newcomers, Poison, opening shows on their U.S. tour. Fast forward over twenty years later, Ratt now opens for Poison on their popular annual summer tours.
The question:
While both bands have been successful, how does the critically-maligned band Poison, significantly eclipse Ratt in total albums sold and enduring popularity over twenty-odd years into their careers? Though comprised of more talented individual musicians and having arguably better songs, Ratt has not achieved the intoxicating levels of allure and enduring fascination that Poison, and only a rare few artists from this era (Motley Crue, Bon Jovi, etc.) have achieved. Why?
The answer:
PIC: Persuasion, Influence, and Communication that’s comprised of: 1) better marketing, 2) stronger entertainment value, and 3) more likeability. Very simply, Poison and their people have done a much better job than Ratt of communicating their product (the music and themselves) to their audience (both old and new) ongoing. Let’s take a look:
1) Better marketing. The Poison brand has always been better known, farther reaching, and consistently more lucrative than most of their contemporaries. Elements of this marketing have included the premeditated controversy that surrounded their early androgynous image. Their hype-saturated live events. And even the incessant bashing from music critics while fans by the millions bought everything they’ve released. I’ve heard it said that the only bad press is no press at all. Poison gets press.
2) Stronger entertainment value. Poison has always been a spectacle. Whether you loved them or hated them, you couldn’t (and still can’t) completely ignore them. From their over-the-top concert events, to their highly publicized personal battles, to their outrageous rock-n-roll personas, these guys know how to keep people interested. This entertainment value continues today with the band members’ exposure as stars of reality TV shows, and their appearances in the media and movies. Lead singer Bret Michaels is a bigger star today than he was back in the day. Poison is entertaining.
3) More likeability. Poison is just more fun to watch, to read about, and to go see perform. They have that “star quality” that the Ratt’s of the world just do not possess. They appear more approachable, interesting, and friendly. This powerful perception, whether manufactured or not, continues to sell records, concert tickets, and T-shirts. People like Poison.
The lesson:
The “ratt poison” to avoid here is the limiting belief that if you’re good at what you do, then that is good enough.
It’s not.
Never was.
Never will be…
You have to go beyond being good. Greatness comes from combining your great talent with even greater mastery of your overall persuasive communication presentation. This requires being a smarter, more consistent marketer; being “entertaining” in your field; and being likeable. Do these things and you will be exponentially more successful at whatever you do.
Pay attention. This isn’t just about music.
Precision persuasion involves giving others what they want, not necessarily what you want to give - without sacrificing who you really are in the process. This is necessary for success in whatever personal or professional endeavor you are involved in today, or may undertake in the future.
Poison is persuasive. Poison are great communicators. And Poison has clearly paid attention and cashed in while the critics are left shaking their heads. And round and round it goes…
©2009 Tom Leu
Jul/090
a little, a lot
One of the first things I teach my new students is the “a little, a lot” rule.
I suggest reading their college textbooks a little, a lot. Read small amounts frequently. The reasoning is simple: to stay focused, to remain productive, and to retain more.
I believe this philosophy also applies to the larger palette of life.
Here are 5 favorite ”a little, a lot” suggestions to be the most persuasive, productive, and principle-centered person you can be:
1) Note a little, notice a lot. Awareness that “sees” the big picture as well as the small details prevails.
2) Demand a little, deliver a lot. Quietly and consistently kicking butt produces short-term gains and achieves long-term goals.
3) Learn a little, about a lot. Those knowing a little about a lot know how to harness and lead those who know a lot about a little.
4) Mold a little, model a lot. Less force=more effect. Show how instead of shoving it down.
5) Speak a little, say a lot. Use a minority of words to produce a majority of meaning.
Employ a little, benefit a lot.
©2009 Tom Leu
Jul/093
are YOU being manipulated?
Is to persuade… to manipulate?
Are you being manipulated when you get persuaded or influenced to think or act in a certain way?
The answer is…YES.
Yes. Persuasion IS manipulation.
And it is YES, every time.
By definition, to persuade REQUIRES some amount of manipulation.
But why?
Because to manipulate means to influence (others or oneself) skillfully, usually to one’s advantage. To persuade means to succeed in causing or influencing a person to do or consent to something. Persuasion cannot occur without some degree of manipulation present in the first place, exerting influence.
Effective persuasion is about recognizing and effectively manipulating the collection of beliefs and perspectives that YOU KNOW others have accumulated and cling to throughout their lives.
But being “manipulative” is most often viewed as being a negative thing. And it may be at times, but it doesn’t always have to be.
When anyone gets persuaded to do anything, they are being manipulated. A desired outcome is being sought through the maneuvering of the circumstances and/or the situation. Whether this “manipulation” is deemed “good” or “bad” is all a matter of perspective.
And one’s perspective is also dependent upon persuasion. Cultural, societal, and family values and experiences all heavily influence and PERSUADE one’s perspectives of the world. An old mentor of mine used to say: “The world is as you are, not as it is.” So true… read it again.
Get over worrying about whether practicing persuasion is being manipulative. IT IS! Call it whatever you want; it’s still about influencing outcomes. And attempting to influence outcomes is a business we’re all in whether we’re consciously aware of it or not. Learning how to be more successful at this universal pursuit is simply smart. Where people get hung up is on the subject of MOTIVES. You can’t talk about manipulation (i.e. persuasion) without talking about the motives behind the manipulation as well.
What are the intentions behind this influence, or persuasion, or manipulation? That’s the question that looms large in a lot of people’s minds.
Debating the motives of the manipulation is THE classic argument. For example, if one’s motives are good, some say, then the manipulation (persuasion) is OK, and vice-versa.
Well, who defines what’s good and not good?
Everyone does. It’s always been that way, and always will be. And therein lies the problem.
Whether the motives underlying the manipulation are viewed as positive or negative also depend on a person’s perspective. And this perspective about what is negatively manipulative or unethical is based on one’s perception (the way they “see” the world). It often becomes a big, giant blob of circular reasoning.
It goes like this: “This is good because I perceive it as good; because I was taught to perceive that it was good; so therefore I believe that it is good; so therefore this is good.”
Though largely unconscious, people think they really went somewhere with that argument, but they’ve really just ended where they began. They said nothing. They proved nothing. They simply restated their perspective; their perception; their opinion in a superficially-clever way.
This is all done with the intention to manipulate and persuade others to see things their way; to agree with their way of thinking; to buy into their beliefs. Many political and religious organizations are experts at doing this very well.
Too many people get hung up (and spend too much time) on this philosophical argument of whether the science of persuasion or the art of influence is good or bad. It doesn’t really matter. What matters is for you (the master persuader) to understand how these perceptions influence other people’s decisions. Let everyone else fight the good or bad, right or wrong, left or right debates.
Only you know the truth about your own motives and intentions surrounding your efforts to persuade and manipulate others. Let your conscience be your guide. The rest of us are moving on…
The wise person is looking at this game of life from a unique perspective. They are actively pursuing a birds-eye-view of human nature that’s happening in real-time and are responding accordingly, shrewdly, and carefully. This perspective is one that gets results by intelligently and effectively influencing outcomes while everyone else is sweating the details.
So yes, I am attempting to manipulate/persuade/influence you (with the best of intentions and motives) to get you to really think about these things. To apply them to your life; to potentially improve the quality of your life, and the lives of others. At the end of the day, that’s really all that matters.
Manipulative? Absolutely.
Persuasive? Depends on your perspective.
Smart? No question.
Now you know.
©2009 Tom Leu
Jul/090
Criss Angel Persuasion
Why is illusionist Criss Angel so successful? Why do you know his name? It’s not because he does neat magic tricks.
The answer: Persuasion.
Criss Angel is a master persuader.
- He persuaded many others to believe in him and his vision.
- He persuaded his family and friends to not only support, but to finance his vision in the early days.
- He persuaded television executives to produce and air his show that made him famous.
- He persuaded everyone to pay attention. And ultimately, getting attention comes from being persuasive.
- And he’s persuading you to read this article right now…
All successful people are master persuaders. Very simply, Criss Angel knows how to get what he wants from other people by giving them what they want. He gets what he wants by making other people feel the way they want to feel.
Did you get that?
Give other people the universal feelings they want (feelings of hope, happiness, & inspiration for example); get them to emotionally respond to you, and you can now write your own ticket and do whatever you want to do. The most successful entertainers, politicians, and religions understand this. As long as your motives are good; everybody wins.
Criss admits he’s not the best magician or musician there ever was, but he has an internal drive that made his success inevitable. This dedication to persuasion makes the difference. And since success and persuasion are interrelated, it’s important to recognize some key elements that need to be present.
1. Be different. If the product isn’t new, the delivery method has to be. You don’t have to reinvent the wheel but you need to offer a new kind of wheel perhaps. What’s your point of difference? What makes you unique? Don’t just be another magician; be a different kind of magician who delivers magic differently. Do this in a big way.
2. Be big. Be hard to ignore. Create a buzz by your difference. Make it impossible for people to not know of you. It takes balls to be big. People don’t pay attention until they have to. People don’t give their attention to that which doesn’t get their attention in the first place. You have to be out there and be taking calculated risks to blaze trails.
3. Be willing to fail. Risk taking and risk talking are not the same thing. I’ve heard it said: “If you don’t try, you’ve already failed.” Don’t just talk about it; take action. Don’t fear the failing. Fear the procrastinating. Try new approaches when old ones falter. Don’t fear the detractors. Fear having NO detractors. True fans will find you.
4. Be a people person. Study the science of persuasion and the art of influence. Since you’re reading this now, you already know there’s tons of great stuff out there. (Kevin Hogan and AJ Kumar are two of my personal favorites). Learn. Pay attention to people the way most people don’t. Notice the unnoticeable. Tune in and fine tune how you interact with others. Give people what they want and they will reciprocate.
Criss Angel: love him, hate him, or don’t care about him; you know of him. That’s the point. And the Persuasion is the difference.
©2009 Tom Leu
Jun/090
8 Traits of Killer Communicators
Neuro-linguistic programming or NLP is a therapy system pioneered in the 1970’s by Richard Bandler and John Grinder. NLP teaches people to become more self-aware and to become 
better communicators while simultaneously changing their patterns of mental and emotional behavior. In other words: begin to think different; begin to act different.
After studying several prominent and successful psychotherapists, Bandler and Grinder concluded that the most successful communicators IN ANY INDUSTRY shared a few common traits. Here’s a quick summary of their findings along with some of my own thoughts… in no particular order of importance.
Great communicators are:
1. Purposeful. They know what they want and are proactive rather than reactive.
2. Flexible. They are open to change, and enjoy trying new ways of doing things, and can adjust on-the-fly.
3. Intuitive. They read and are extremely responsive to the nonverbal communication and body language of others.
4. Visionary. They are consistently looking at and evaluating the bigger picture.
5. Optimistic. They embrace difficult or challenging situations as learning opportunities rather than problems.
6. Compassionate. They genuinely care for others and look for the good in people and circumstances.
7. Talented. They are genuinely gifted and really good at what they do.
8. Determined. They are internally driven and refuse to give up.
Killer communicators know the precise outcome they want to achieve, are able to come up with different approaches to getting it, and are flexible all along the way. They are aware of their strengths AND opportunity areas, yet occasionally kick and scream just like everyone else sometimes.
©2009 Tom Leu
Sep/080
“communichology”
Everyone is in sales. Whether you’re selling a product, a service, or yourself as a product or a service - we’re all in the sales business – selling something to somebody somewhere. It goes in order like this:
Communication → Influence → Persuasion → Sales
1) It starts with effective communication that’s compelling and influential. 2) The art of influence then turns into 3) the science of persuasion that moves people to do what you want them to do. 4) “Sales” happens.
Kevin Hogan, a leader in the fields of influence and persuasion, reports the following:
Frederick Douglass said, “If I can persuade, I can move the universe.”
What is persuasion? Persuasion is the purpose and intention of communication.
You tell your girlfriend or your wife (or whoever), “My you look hot.”
Why? You have an intention…
Everyone communicates with intentions (desiring a certain outcome). But not all communicate particularly well verbally, nonverbally, or written – to bring their intentions to fruition.
Communication must be influential and persuasive to be great.
Can you be influential and not persuasive? Yes. Can you be persuasive and not influential? No. To persuade, by definition, is exerting influence – to move one in a direction; into action.
Little communication is truly influential → (having the potential power to convince or induce belief) – Influence is an art that has many forms, styles, and methods of delivery. Influence is the “what” of communication.
Influential communication has to build into persuasion → (cogent communication intended to move one to action) – Persuasion is a science with proven techniques and strategies. Persuasion is the “how” of influence.
Not all persuasive people can actually sell or close a deal. Sales resides at the intersection of psychology and communication… Sales is the “product” of persuasive influence.
“Communichology™” = The artistic and scientific priniciples of influential communication and persuasion psychology that direct and shape human behavior.
New book forthcoming… check this blog for more excerpts.
©2008 Tom Leu
May/080
communication breakdown
It matters little how good you are at your art, business, or craft; if your communication skills lack, your business productivity will suffer. Whether you realize it or not, first impressions count, while second impressions define.
Especially with any business interaction, you are wise to convey to people that you are at least as interested in them as they are in you. Usually, you have to appear more interested in them. Otherwise, you risk leaving people feeling flat or put off by you. We are all our own favorite subject. And awareness and action around this precept is paramount to long-term success in any field. The circumstances of the interaction also matter. Are you being approached, or are you doing the approaching? It’s important to understand the different communication nuances that different situations require.
Your ability to competently manage relationships and successfully interact with others is arguably the single greatest asset you possess. An inability to communicate effectively in all kinds of situations minimizes the impact of your other skills, and ultimately the level of your success. Recognize where your communication breaksdown and resolve to seek out solutions to do something about it today! Nobody benefits more than you do in the long run.
©2008 Tom Leu
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Tom Leu is a writer, speaker, photographer, and teacher with degrees in Psychology and Sociology. Tom's RockStar Way™ brand uncovers the extraordinary "images" within music, marketing & motivation.
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