Nov/081
as you are
One of my old mentors used to tell me that the world is as you are, not as it is…
It’s an interesting observation that has stuck with me.
How we “see” things influences how we “feel” about those things.
How you think = How you are.
So… since (our) perception is (our) reality, doesn’t it make sense to change our perception when our reality is in need of change?
But how? How does one go about changing their perceptions?
Two ways:
1) Get honest about any long-held perceptions that may not serve you anymore. Fall out of love with the notion that your way of seeing things is the only “right” way. It rarely is. If you don’t have the objectivity to do this yourself, ask someone else who really knows you to help.
2) Become willing to consider another viewpoint. Being willing doesn’t mean blindly agreeing. Do some homework and investigate other viewpoints for yourself. Sometimes the very act of trying to challenge or disprove another perspective exposes new information that was unseen before.
No one likes to change. Change makes people defensive. Change is hard. But change is necessary for growth.
Think back one, five, even ten or more years ago… how much have you changed?
Is “as you are” today really the way you want your world to be tomorrow?
If not, then keep what’s working and get rid of the rest. Your world depends on it.
©2008 Tom Leu
Oct/080
common sense?
I often hear people critcize or dismiss other’s ideas by labeling it as “common sense.” Common sense indicates that the majority of people intuitively understand and already “know” the information that is being presented. And this fact of knowing indirectly asserts that the information is somehow less valuable because it’s “common” and therefore a commodity. So labeling something as common sense carries a deragatory connotation… but herein lies the irony:
Common Sense does not equal Uncommon Success…
Knowing and doing are two completely different things. Yes, it’s true that we all know many, many things. We may intellectually understand and often agree on a vast amount of knowledge about ourselves and about our world. But equally true is that most people do not DO what they know. This is not a judgement, but a statistical reality. Generally speaking, most people are not successful at applying the knowledge that is available to them. Proclaiming something as common sense seems to become a defense mechanism people employ to manage their disappointment around their lack of productive activity. Uncommon success in any area of life requires taking common sense on the road. It’s not enough to know something or to simply talk about something. You have to do something and make things happen for the common to become uncommon.
Smoking is an obvious, yet powerful example. No one will argue that smoking is hazardous for the health of the human body. It causes disease and people die from it everyday. We can call this common sense because everybody knows it. Yet millions still smoke despite this common knowledge. So what do we call common sense that is unacted upon? The norm… unfortunately. History proves that the most profound wisdom and universal truths are simple to understand but difficult to implement. Identifying something as common sense then is the beginning, not the end.
“Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age 18.” – Albert Einstein
Of course what some call common sense, others call crazy. It becomes a matter of perspective based on one’s social, cultural and educational background. So maybe we could benefit from re-learning some universal “common sense” principles that affect our physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being. But more importantly, maybe we can then learn to apply some of this knowledge and information to improve not only our own lives, but the lives of those around us. Sounds like common sense to me…
©2008 Tom Leu
Oct/081
Why is it…? #8
…that people will celebrate someone’s assertions of individuality and independence verbally, but then often condemn and sabotage it behaviorally?
©2008 Tom Leu
Oct/081
why people change
According to the classic, best-selling self-help book, I’m OK-You’re OK, there are 3 things that make people want to change: pain, boredom, and belief.
1. They hurt sufficiently.
Pain is the great motivator. Unfortunatley, it’s only when pain is so very high that real change becomes possible. Why change if things are going well, or appear to be going well? Pain avoidance is arguably stronger than pleasure seeking.
2. Boredom.
Don’t confuse resting with being idle. Resting, without restlessness, is good. Idleness is dangerous. Left with too much time to do too much thinking leads too many people down too many wrong roads. Find something positive and healthy to do with that energy.
3. The sudden discovery that they can.
Once the realization that anything is possible comes into existence, action soon follows and real change begins to take place. Whatever you believe, so it will be. Therefore we have to believe that we can more than we can’t.
No one particularly likes to make changes, edits, or take do-overs in life. But people will change when they begin to believe it’s their idea to do so. Changes – of course - aren’t optional, they’re inevitable. It’s not a matter of if, but when.
©2008 Tom Leu
Sep/082
Why is it…? #7
…that very often, people’s observable, outward behaviors send a message that is the exact opposite of how they truly feel on the inside?
©2008 Tom Leu
Jul/080
Why is it…? #6
…that what often bothers us most about others is often what troubles us most about ourselves?
©2008 Tom Leu
May/080
communication breakdown
It matters little how good you are at your art, business, or craft; if your communication skills lack, your business productivity will suffer. Whether you realize it or not, first impressions count, while second impressions define.
Especially with any business interaction, you are wise to convey to people that you are at least as interested in them as they are in you. Usually, you have to appear more interested in them. Otherwise, you risk leaving people feeling flat or put off by you. We are all our own favorite subject. And awareness and action around this precept is paramount to long-term success in any field. The circumstances of the interaction also matter. Are you being approached, or are you doing the approaching? It’s important to understand the different communication nuances that different situations require.
Your ability to competently manage relationships and successfully interact with others is arguably the single greatest asset you possess. An inability to communicate effectively in all kinds of situations minimizes the impact of your other skills, and ultimately the level of your success. Recognize where your communication breaksdown and resolve to seek out solutions to do something about it today! Nobody benefits more than you do in the long run.
This isn’t a review of 


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