Tom Leu "seeing things" … perspectives on music, marketing, & motivation

“Lust Kills” #3

Catchy title.

Glad you like it.

So are you going to be preaching about sexual indiscretion or something now?

Nah… I don’t preach; I prefer to teach. There’s a big difference.

Some think preaching and teaching are the same, but they’re practically opposites… they can actually be contradictions of each other. Preaching is rarely teaching anything.

Exactly! And that’s exactly what I want to talk about… this concept of paradox.

Paradox? Sounds uninteresting. Lust sounds much more intriguing.

Well it may be, but maybe not.

Define paradox.

According to the dictionary, a paradox is something that is self-contradicting; any person, thing, or situation exhibiting an apparently contradictory nature. An example of a paradox would be saying something like “I always lie,” because if that fact is true then the statement must be false. Get it?

Sort of.

Think of a paradox as being similar or related to other words such as a contradiction or an oxymoron.

A working title of one of your other writings is called “The Beautiful Secrets.” Is that an example of paradox?

Yes. That’s the idea. Why would something that is beautiful have to be a secret?

It’s a mystery.

It is. Which leads me to my thoughts about people who appear paradoxical.

People are paradoxical?

Sure; and contradictory and oxymoronic and on and on. Although they’re not as mysterious as they’d have you believe.

Give me an example.

I have one intriguing, yet sometimes irritating old “friend” who comes to mind.

So tell me about this old “friend” (in quotes) of yours.

He’s a guy who markets himself to be so FOR things, but is really AGAINST more than he’s for.

Explain.

This guy has always been a cool customer; a rock star you know? But his whole gig is presenting this thing I call an “Attitude of Against” or A-of-A. This is when someone or some group comes across more strongly “against” things that “for” anything. It’s an energy-depleting position, and the opposite of everything the RockStar Way^TM promotes.

So he’s kind of a pessimist or a cynic?

No, I wouldn’t say that. Actually, he’s very smart and seems to know exactly what he wants and appears very driven to achieve those things. But in his quest to achieve his goals, he comes off with an antagonism and an aura of belittlement aimed at that which differs from himself and his preferences. And with his sarcastic wit and intelligence, this guy makes it seem bigger than just preference differences; he really makes it appear to be about what is truly right and wrong. That’s both the irritating and intriguing part.

Wow, this guy sounds complicated!

Yeah, that’s what he wants you to think. He wants you to think that he’s this very deep, complex, tortured, misunderstood, dark and brooding artist type. He sometimes comes off as the ”I’m too-cool-for-you,” punk-apostle type… if you know what I mean. But he’s not really what he presents. He’s just a guy. An insecure guy who’s clever at marketing himself. A paradox.

But can’t we all be that way at times?

Of course, but not everyone goes out of their way to wave this post-punkish “Attitude of Against” flag by admonishing all things “rock” while admiring anything anti-establishment.

You sound a bit threatened by this guy.

Sometimes I do feel that way truthfully, until I take a closer look at what’s really going on.

So what’s going on?

It’s the classic rebel-with-a-cause complex. People like this dude thrive on attitudes of angst, anti-establishment, and arrogance. They always seem pissed off; are against all forms of authority, and think that they’re better than everyone else. But they’re not really that pissed off, they conform to authority like the rest of us, they truly aren’t any better than anyone else, and they often suffer from high levels of low self-esteem. They are a paradox; a contradiction in and of themselves. And in a way, they actually represent all that they rail against.

Amazing how you turned that whole thing around a full 360°… so what’s the take-away here?

Literally pointing out what you don’t like can actually make you more like it (or like it more)… figuratively speaking. Those that run around strongly preaching against those things which they despise are usually the ones most attracted to those very same things. For example, “lust kills” is most often preached by the most lustful.

You’re surely not saying that being outspoken and passionate is a bad thing?

No, definitely not. I’m saying that it’s all about the underlying content of your message. It’s easy to be negative and to be against things. It’s everywhere, all the time. But tell me what you’re for, not just what you’re against. Injecting positive into the world is a much more challenging and worthwhile effort in my opinion.

So “Nice Wins” as you often say. Is that right?

In the end, I believe nice does win. Be yourself. Be transparent. But be nice for f**k sake! An overbearing and overindulgent “A-of-A” is actually negativity cleverly promoted as something positive. However, the surface bravado really only reveals a covert cowardice. 

Very observant.

Beware. Be aware.

©2009 Tom Leu