4 P’s to Competent Communication
"Making the world a better place one interaction at a time."
Please consider the following effective practices to put into place to become a more competent communicator personally and professionally:
1. Pause - Excellent communication starts with stopping first. There are great rewards for avoiding knee-jerk reactions. They call them "knee-jerk" because a lot of times a jerk is exactly how you feel afterwards... Pausing gives us more time (to perceive and predict) which often gives us more options (before we proceed).
2. Perceive - The additional time that pausing produces affords us more opportunity to truly "see" what is happening in the moment. It's to our benefit to look beyond the surface; to look just underneath the obvious. Heightened perception often leads to new perspectives that help to better (predict) how best (to proceed).
3. Predict - Next, ask yourself: "What's happened just before, or is likely to happen just after this encounter?" Educated predictions about pertinent circumstances or situations leading up to, and/or following our interactions result from first (pausing) and then (perceiving).
4. Proceed - Once we've taken an extra second (pause), sought to really "see" (perceive) the nuances, surmised (predict) what came before and what may come next, it's now time to take the next step (proceed). Executing the first three P's FIRST, now position us to make the best decisions and the smartest moves next.
A lot of people do this backwards. When interacting with others they often jump right to #4. They first react and proceed impulsively, and only then do they pause, perceive, and predict how to undo what they did... after the fact.
This cycle then becomes a vicious circle starting over again and again... producing similar and results.
To avoid this, the most competent communicators are proactive rather than reactive.
Proactive communication requires employing the 4 P's in order ongoing, within every interaction.
Doing so has the potential to make the world a better place one interaction at a time...
©2011 Tom Leu
Call to Action
So many are scared... to make a move... a real move... in the right direction...
Many of us could benefit from being reminded that we can be our greatest ally and our own worst enemy simultaneously.
There are endeavors, ventures, undertakings, projects, and situations that demand a new perspective and approach if we hope to affect different outcomes.
Many folks long to live more fully, feel more fulfilled, and contribute more profoundly. Many have shyed away from opportunities, and recoiled from challenges and wonder why they feel like they're in an infinite funk more often than not.
So many are always shooting themselves in foot becoming perpetual victims of self-inflicted wounds.
"But that's just how I am." "I've always been this way."
Exactly...
Human beings typically follow mental scripts and behavioral patterns that have been instilled in us from an early age. Some serve us; some don't. It's your job to honestly assess which ones are which.
Let me be clear:
I am not advocating becoming someone or something you are not.
I am not encouraging people to be articificial, superficial, or fake.
I am not urging people to be actors or inauthentic versions of themselves.
Instead...
I am endorsing that people embrace those parts of their personalities that are already there, but may be lying dormant.
I am asking people to move out of their comfort zones and take action in areas that they have historically side-stepped or overlooked.
I am prompting people to get honest and objectively decide to make changes for the best interest of themselves and others around them.
Anything less is fear-based and the ultimate selfishness. To do less is to deny others the ultimate greatness and uniqueness of you.
I dare you to move.
"Tension is here | Between who you are and who you could be | Between how it is and how it should be | I dare you to move | I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor" ~ Switchfoot
If the fear of moving into the unknown is the illness, then action is the antidote.
This stuff is live-giving IF embraced.
The call to action begins by making a decision to answer the call; to finally decide to begin doing things differently than you've ever done before to the benefit all around you.
You're staring down the barrel of a new beginning.
But nothing changes until you change.
Start today. Start now...
©2011 Tom Leu
“human relations”… not-so-common-sense
I teach a course at the college called "Human Relations."
It's often misunderstood by both students AND staff because the title is so obviously deceptive.
Many people assume, and then zoom right on by the power of these two words; and therefore miss the potential power of the course and its many practical concepts.
The class is a combination of psychology and communication... what I call "communichology."
Human Relations = to relate (effectively) to other humans... pretty straight-forward right? Not necessarily...
This stuff is easy to talk about, but difficult to do.
Here's where it gets tricky...
Effectively relating to others requires us first to effectively relate to ourselves. This is no small task for many.
This subject is as internal as it is external... just like looking in a mirror is both an internal and external exercise simultaneously.
We first see ourselves, and then hopefully we "see" ourselves.
You see... we have to be truly in touch with ourselves before we can be truly effective with others.
The mirror has to reflect both ways.
Many "get" this, but fail to really get into it fully.
It's work. It's often difficult. But it's necessary.
There are 3 steps in this journey:
1) Awareness - We first have to tune-in and begin to know - what we don't know, or think we may know - but may be mistaken about our own psychology and communication skills.
To do: Admit that perception isn't always reality.
2) Education - Next, we need to set about learning more about ourselves, our history, our responsibility, and our blind spots, as well as the complex nuances of interpersonal communication with others.
To do: Take a Human Relations-type course, workshop, or seminar.
3) Application - Finally, we have to act on this awareness and education and begin an ongoing process of applying what we now know... now.
To do: Practice at home and on the job; a lot.
Far more than just common sense, human relations is a critical skill set that can be developed provided the proper amounts of courage, honesty, and ongoing diligence are present.
The importance of this discipline cannot be overstated.
Becoming a master of yourself affords you the opportunity to be masterful with others, in many kinds of situations, most of the time.
And who doesn't stand to benefit from that?
©2011 Tom Leu
It IS Self-Help!
The term "self-help" gets a bad rap all-too-often.
It's looked down upon by some as corny or ineffective.
Hardly.
What's ineffective and disastrous is denying that YOU are driving your own ship... that YOU can help yourself.
Relying soley on some external "source" for direction is foolish, misguided, and sometimes tragic.
Look at it again... I said: "relying SOLEY upon..."
Seeking various forms of outside counsel, encouragement, and support isn't a bad thing in and of itself.
As long as this is done in addition to, and not instead of, the realization that only YOU have the power to change your reality and influence your outcomes... right here, right now.
It IS about self-help! It has to be...
Because no one or no thing is going to truly be able to help you until you are willing to help yourself first.
This requires recognizing the difference between needing and wanting.
We all need lots of things. But until we want what we need, no changes are going to to happen.
So this is much more than just personal development. This is about personal achievement. This is about actually accomplishing your goals both for business and for pleasure.
It starts with YOU, and your awareness, and your decisions, and your commitment to take the initiative to transform your lifestyle.
It's an inside job.
These are the beginnings of the RockStarWays!
Stay tuned-in... \,,/
Tom Leu is writer, speaker, photographer, and musician from Rockford, IL. The blog StayTunedIn.net encourages "seeing things" the RockStarWay™ and promotes Lifestyle Initiative Training techniques.
©2011 Tom Leu
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