8 Traits of Killer Communicators
Neuro-linguistic programming or NLP is a therapy system pioneered in the 1970's by Richard Bandler and John Grinder. NLP teaches people to become more self-aware and to become better communicators while simultaneously changing their patterns of mental and emotional behavior. In other words: begin to think different; begin to act different.
After studying several prominent and successful psychotherapists, Bandler and Grinder concluded that the most successful communicators IN ANY INDUSTRY shared a few common traits. Here's a quick summary of their findings along with some of my own thoughts... in no particular order of importance.
Great communicators are:
1. Purposeful. They know what they want and are proactive rather than reactive.
2. Flexible. They are open to change, and enjoy trying new ways of doing things, and can adjust on-the-fly.
3. Intuitive. They read and are extremely responsive to the nonverbal communication and body language of others.
4. Visionary. They are consistently looking at and evaluating the bigger picture.
5. Optimistic. They embrace difficult or challenging situations as learning opportunities rather than problems.
6. Compassionate. They genuinely care for others and look for the good in people and circumstances.
7. Talented. They are genuinely gifted and really good at what they do.
8. Determined. They are internally driven and refuse to give up.
Killer communicators have huge advantages at home and on-the-job. They know the precise outcome they want to achieve, are able to come up with different approaches to getting it, and are flexible all along the way. They are aware of their strengths AND opportunity areas, yet occasionally kick and scream just like everyone else sometimes.
©2012 Tom Leu
teaching teaches teacher
The bad news: I believe most people are well-adjusted, yet somewhat discontented with life. They've got some combination of jobs, homes, families and health perhaps, but are still unhappy overall. Nothing is good enough. There's always the quest for more. Most are searching for something outside of themselves to make them happy; to fill the void; to ease the pain (on the inside). Hence, the high prevalence of the many vices, devices, & distractions people employ to "escape."
The big questions are: What is the source of this pain? And is this source common to most of us? The "answers" will vary of course depending on who you talk to.
The good news: A lot of people successfully create lives that do not require escape. It appears that those who are content with, and have found serenity in their lives (regardless of the specific source of the serenity), are the richest people in the world because they have what everyone wants.
Sharing some hope and some tools to attain this contentment and serenity, while pursuing it yourself, is a noble life's work.
I've heard it said that "teaching, teaches, teacher" - and so it goes...
No one has all the answers... but I've found it serendipitous contributing to the conversation.
It's why I do what I do. Thanks very much for reading, and keep coming back.
©2012 Tom Leu
4 P’s to Competent Communication
"Making the world a better place one interaction at a time."
Please consider the following effective practices to put into place to become a more competent communicator personally and professionally:
1. Pause - Excellent communication starts with stopping first. There are great rewards for avoiding knee-jerk reactions. They call them "knee-jerk" because a lot of times a jerk is exactly how you feel afterwards... Pausing gives us more time (to perceive and predict) which often gives us more options (before we proceed).
2. Perceive - The additional time that pausing produces affords us more opportunity to truly "see" what is happening in the moment. It's to our benefit to look beyond the surface; to look just underneath the obvious. Heightened perception often leads to new perspectives that help to better (predict) how best (to proceed).
3. Predict - Next, ask yourself: "What's happened just before, or is likely to happen just after this encounter?" Educated predictions about pertinent circumstances or situations leading up to, and/or following our interactions result from first (pausing) and then (perceiving).
4. Proceed - Once we've taken an extra second (pause), sought to really "see" (perceive) the nuances, surmised (predict) what came before and what may come next, it's now time to take the next step (proceed). Executing the first three P's FIRST, now position us to make the best decisions and the smartest moves next.
A lot of people do this backwards. When interacting with others they often jump right to #4. They first react and proceed impulsively, and only then do they pause, perceive, and predict how to undo what they did... after the fact.
This cycle then becomes a vicious circle starting over again and again... producing similar and results.
To avoid this, the most competent communicators are proactive rather than reactive.
Proactive communication requires employing the 4 P's in order ongoing, within every interaction.
Doing so has the potential to make the world a better place one interaction at a time...
©2011 Tom Leu
Call to Action
So many are scared... to make a move... a real move... in the right direction...
Many of us could benefit from being reminded that we can be our greatest ally and our own worst enemy simultaneously.
There are endeavors, ventures, undertakings, projects, and situations that demand a new perspective and approach if we hope to affect different outcomes.
Many folks long to live more fully, feel more fulfilled, and contribute more profoundly. Many have shyed away from opportunities, and recoiled from challenges and wonder why they feel like they're in an infinite funk more often than not.
So many are always shooting themselves in foot becoming perpetual victims of self-inflicted wounds.
"But that's just how I am." "I've always been this way."
Exactly...
Human beings typically follow mental scripts and behavioral patterns that have been instilled in us from an early age. Some serve us; some don't. It's your job to honestly assess which ones are which.
Let me be clear:
I am not advocating becoming someone or something you are not.
I am not encouraging people to be articificial, superficial, or fake.
I am not urging people to be actors or inauthentic versions of themselves.
Instead...
I am endorsing that people embrace those parts of their personalities that are already there, but may be lying dormant.
I am asking people to move out of their comfort zones and take action in areas that they have historically side-stepped or overlooked.
I am prompting people to get honest and objectively decide to make changes for the best interest of themselves and others around them.
Anything less is fear-based and the ultimate selfishness. To do less is to deny others the ultimate greatness and uniqueness of you.
I dare you to move.
"Tension is here | Between who you are and who you could be | Between how it is and how it should be | I dare you to move | I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor" ~ Switchfoot
If the fear of moving into the unknown is the illness, then action is the antidote.
This stuff is live-giving IF embraced.
The call to action begins by making a decision to answer the call; to finally decide to begin doing things differently than you've ever done before to the benefit all around you.
You're staring down the barrel of a new beginning.
But nothing changes until you change.
Start today. Start now...
©2011 Tom Leu
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