taking inventory « Tom Leu | Motivational Speaker, Author, Photographer, & Musician

9Sep/09

taking inventory

"Stop confessing someone else's sins." - Stephen Covey

Most of us are really good at noticing other people's faults. We seem to take joy sometimes in pointing out where others are falling short. It's as if we're empowered and begin feeling better about ourselves when we can tear someone else down instead of looking at our own "areas of opportunity." inventory

In 12 step groups, "taking other people's inventory" is often discussed and always discouraged because recovery (from anything) is an inside job. Our problems aren't "out there" somewhere. Our problems, as well as the solutions, dwell within ourselves; within our minds. Here, the intellectual constructs that we create and manage our world around often take over. The world now becomes as we are, not as it is.

We need to be continually taking our own inventory; not the inventory of others. Easier said than done... but with ongoing practice, it is possible. To do this, we need to be actively observing ourselves and recognize that we are not our thoughts and emotions. Who we are and what we do are two separate things. The mere act of noticing when we are angry, sad, frustrated, elated or anxious for example, puts us in a heightened conscious state to now react in a way that will best serve us and those around us. This is powerfully persuasive both internally and externally. And this is a form of taking our own inventory that puts us on the road to finding true and lasting contentment. Something I believe everyone is after...

©2009 Tom Leu

Tagged as: 12 step groups, inventory, Recovery, stephen covey, taking inventory Leave a comment

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Larry Watson
September 9th, 2009 - 18:31

I totally agree.
mai
September 14th, 2009 - 09:12

I’ve heard the metaphor modern day vampires, I always thought that was a fitting title to those who feed on the short comings or misfortune of others to inflate themselves.

This ‘excercise’ is not an easy feat but it is one that brings profound contentment. When you step back from your emotions and realize they are not you, however powerful they may be, they become objectified. The experience can leave you laughing.

I wrote to someone once that “I am not my opinions, experiences or my education. I am a being far greater than all those things”. I think that fits here.
Sara
September 16th, 2009 - 23:25

@mai: I’ve always appreciated your insight. I still don’t know how you do it. “You complete me.”

@Larry Watson: I am in agreement also. The grouch may be the dubious luxury of normal people, but for us it is poison.

@Tom: When I first started noticing that I was taking someone else’s inventory, I had to ask myself WHY I was doing it. Much to my chagrin, I discovered that I was really bothered by the people who display qualities that I find negative but that I also possess. The girl who really gets under my skin does so because, well, I used to be that girl. And maybe I still can be sometimes. Or the guy who annoys me to no end, I know I can be just as annoying. So I realized that it wasn’t really them that bothered me, it was those aspects of myself that bothered me. Of course, it’s much easier for me to criticize someone else than it is to examine my own character defects. But that kind of behavior isn’t going to get me anywhere.

I haven’t found a way to keep myself from taking other people’s inventory. (yet?) But I think I have found a way to at least make some good come from it. Every day is another opportunity to practice.

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