“How you doing?”
It’s a question we all get asked all of the time. And the typical, short response most throw out is:
Really? You’re “fine.” I doubt it. There’s likely more going on. This is the “I’m-really-feeling-a lot-of-things-right-now, but-you-don’t-really-want-to-know, and-there-really-isn’t-enough-time-to-get-into-it-all, and-I-really-don’t-want-to-talk-about-any-of this-shit-right-now-anyway” response because avoidance is easier than the truth.
Here’s what “fine” really means most often, and is best represented by the following acronym you may have already heard of before. … presented here with my “colorful” commentary of course:
“I’ve got a lot of shit going on in my life right now that I don’t feel in control of, and all this shit is stressing-me-the-fuck-out.”
“People, situations, and circumstances outside of my control are threatening my self-esteem to such a high-degree that fear has consumed me, and I’m not sure where I stand or if I’m good enough.”
“I’ve got “issues” and quirks that I do my best to keep hidden and under wraps because if you really knew how fucked I feel and behave sometimes, you’d likely run the other direction.”
“I’m often incapable of keeping my feelings in check, especially when my expectations aren’t being met and, shit’s not going my way. I then react and often overreact therefore causing me even more personal and professional pain leaving me feeling even more fucked up than before.”
Then the cycle starts again at F… sound even somewhat familiar?
But hey, yeah, “I’m fine.” How are YOU?
“Good.” (that’s an entire other post in-and-of-itself)…
So next time you or someone you know responds with the cliched “I’m fine” response… think of the F.I.N.E. acronym, and marinate in its truth. Rest assured that at least some of us know that you ‘aint fine bro; but you ARE quite normal.
- Remember that whatever you’re feeling right now is temporary.
- So don’t get used to it.
- Because it’s going to change.
- Be encouraged by this fine distinction…