Eighty-Six (86)

Unfortunately, this is tough stuff that touches everyone. Either directly or indirectly… But I refuse for this topic to always be a downer; doom and gloom. It can, and does become the opposite, sooner or later. Certainly, addiction and its myriad of reasons for being can be complex and controversial depending on individual circumstances. But, recovery in all its various forms, doesn’t have to be complicated, but some make it so. Some have a need for it to be more complex than it needs to be. This becomes more about justifying their status rather than about another’s state of mind.

Let’s be clear: it’s not easy, nor is it impossible to overcome and rise above the various addictions, vices, devices, distractions, or compulsions (the AV/DC’s) that can ail any of us. Everyone, and every situation is different. But for me… I simply no longer choose to engage in certain self-defeating behaviors that eventually made my world very small. It’s just not who I am anymore. It’s not what I choose to do, nor how I choose to live. The cons eventually outnumbered the pros for me. It’s that simple, though it wasn’t easy to face at first. Don’t confuse simplicity with degree of difficulty.

Once those numbers didn’t add up for me anymore, none of IT worked, and changes needed to be made. I still think about it sometimes. I fondly remember doing this or that once upon a time. Euphoric recall creeps in. Especially when I see others engaging and embracing elements of a lifestyle that’s past tense for me. For a fleeting moment, it can be tough. But when this happens, I choose to let it go and let it be. I remind myself of where I am versus where I was. The comparison is no contest.

So for me, for today… this different path has been producing different outcomes for a long time. Mostly better outcomes, but sometimes just different. It called life. Sometimes there’s celebration. Sometimes there’s consolation. It just is what it is. It’s been up, it’s been down, and then it just becomes the norm. A new normal. I suppose some may view that as both good and bad. Though sometimes it doesn’t always feel so good, it’s definitely all good. I’m fortunate, and I’m continually reminded of that. So I’m reminding me, and I’m reminding you: Whatever it is for you or someone you know, it’s temporary and can be overcome.

Stay tuned-in…

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Avoid-Dance

“I don’t want to go there; I don’t want to talk about that…”

I hear this quite a bit within the different aspects of my work. The frequency of this isn’t surprising, but the high price we pay for this choice often is. There’s a large, collective cost attached to avoidance and denial. It’s often not immediately apparent, but it’s definitely there. It’s called “avoid-dance” for a reason. Because that’s exactly what it is: a fucking dance… a death dance that slowly kills you from the inside out.

Anywhere you don’t want go (emotionally) is exactly where you need to be… (immediately). – @tomleu

It’s normal to want to avoid problems because problems = pain. Nobody wants more pain, we’ve got enough of that shit already right? Many psychologists suggest that the human drive to avoid pain is higher and tends to be more prevalent than our drive to seek pleasure. Read that again. It’s called “avoidance coping” or “escape coping” for a reason. But here’s the thing: side-stepping isn’t a solution; it’s a band-aid, and a weak one at that. The longer anyone avoids their own crap and refuses “to go there,” the bigger the problem becomes, and the less effective the band-aid becomes over time. Have the stones to rip that shit off.

We all have to “go there” sometimes because “there” is where the real solutions to the problems live. Believe it or not, the pain of dealing with the here and now is far less than enduring the pain accumulated by avoiding shit week-after-month-after-year-after-year. It’s called recovery (from whatever is ailing you). Going there is good. Go there so you don’t have to live there.

Face it, fix it, and move on. It’s a risk worth taking. Easier said than done, but no less possible…

Stay tuned-in…cPlease share and click HERE for info on my Communichology course.

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Tom Leu on the The Journey Podcast

Tom’s appearance on The Journey podcast with host, Kevin Polky from May 2020:

The Man Who Makes Sound Matter Pt. 1

“I have known Tom the majority of my life, close to 40 years. We played football together since middle school, lived together in college, were in each other’s wedding and now have had the opportunity to work together. He has an amazing story. This episode gives a glimpse into the earlier years of the good, bad and the ugly of the rocker lifestyle.” – Kevin Polky


Please share and click HERE for info on my Communichology course.

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Tom Leu on the Recovery Rockstars Podcast

Check out my appearance on the killer Recovery Rockstars podcast with host, Kevin Zurek from January 2019:

Stay tuned-in…

Please share and click HERE for info on my Communichology course.

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Boozy Brunch

I love my curated, streaming playlists. Listen to them daily. We’ve all experienced how powerful music is to our lives. No matter your flavor, music’s power to influence how we feel, and transport us, even if only temporarily, can itself, be intoxicating.

Here’s a recent screenshot I came across of a recommended Spotify playlist. I used to get mad at stuff like this. Now I get sad. Sad because so many equate alcohol (and drugs) with carefree, good times. Glorifying “day drinking” and “happy hours” and such. I used to, too… It’s a dangerous message that I bought into as a teenager, and one that contributed to the next 20 years of my life as a hard-core boozer.

I was one who couldn’t always separate fact from fiction always. One who equated good times and bad times, with music and booze, often resulting in bad decisions. One who looked external, for internal remedies to cure what ailed me. One who blamed, ran, and rationalized to avoid “all the feels” associated with living with presence and clarity.

Today, the music I consume, and the music I make, continues to transport me. Just not into the boozy brunch club, or fantasy fucking I-land. And you know what? “They” told me [brunch] would be so much better without the booze… but I didn’t believe them back then. I thought they were full of shit.

But you know what else? It turns out that they were right…

Stay tuned-in…

Please share and click HERE for info on my Communichology course.

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Sixty-Five

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Judy C. 2014 >> “Humans Being” Project – produced using original images, interviews, and music production from 16Imaging Communications.

The goals of these moving pictures are to raise awareness, encourage critical thinking, promote contemplative reflection, and to inspire others to overcome and rise above their AV/DC’s. Reactions and comments encouraged…

For more >> www.RecoveryCollective.net

Stay tuned-in…


 

Thirty-Three

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8 Steps to Get What You Want:

  1. Know exactly what it is you’re after and why. More Clarity = Less Chaos. It doesn’t have to be just one thing, but it does have to be clearly your thing(s).
  2. Be sure that what you want is something you’re both passionate about, AND have a legitimate talent for. Passion only = a hobby. Talent only = a job. Both = a calling. Get honest, and don’t bullshit yourself.
  3. Be able to help solve others’ problems with your passion and talent. Everyone’s favorite subject is themselves. So, at the core, your offering has to be about them; not you.
  4. Be willing and able to consistently work extremely hard despite how you feel at any given moment. I don’t care what anyone says, working toward “success” is fucking hard work. Chuck the excuses, and DO the work required to kick ass.
  5. Be willing and able to consistently work extremely smart. Always be learning new strategies and implementing new ideas to get farther, faster. If you think you’ve arrived… you definitely haven’t.
  6. Master the art and science of Communichology™ by knowing when and how to speak up, when to shut up, and how to do both professionally and with integrity ongoing. Copious amounts of self-awareness, social and emotional intelligences are non-negotiable skills sets to seek and master.
  7. Be actively assessing where and what you need recovery from, and where you need to improve… and we all need it somewhere, sometimes. And then commit to doing what needs to be done to fucking overcome and rise above.
  8. Repeat #1-8.

Stay tuned-in…