Seventy-Two (72)

You and I don’t know many things.

For instance: You never know who may be watching you; silently observing you.

You never know who may think you’re great. You never know who may think you’re a tool. You never know who you may be influencing positively or negatively. You never know who may be in a position of influence over you at some point in the future. You never know how this may impact your life now or later; more or less.

You and I may just never fully know some things…

So… it’s wise to recognize what your behavior is saying about you. It’s wise to consider how you make others feel. Because how you make others feel says a lot about you. It’s wise to pay attention to who may be paying attention to you. It’s wise to be self-aware enough to notice when others think you’re full of shit. It’s wise to stop pretending that you have all the answers. It’s wise to listen more, and talk less. It’s wise to own your own shortcomings (yes, you and I have them… many perhaps), and resolve to improve. It’s wise to show appreciation and respect to those who deserve it. It’s wise to be more humble and gracious.

It’s wise to consider applying wisdom vs. only acquiring knowledge.

It’s even more wise to do this daily… Right. Now.

Stay tuned-in…

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Thirty-Six

I love fielding communication from those whom I call the “none of this applies to me” group. You know the type: those who are audaciously certain… about seemingly, everything. These know-it-all’s think they have all the answers. There’s no subject they’re not well-versed in. These are the people who, when exposed to any information (new or not-so-new) that challenges their closely held belief systems, quickly get defensive, double-down on their positions, and then distance themselves from the threat. It’s irrational, of course, if you really think about it.

But psychologically speaking, suffering from irrational beliefs, and/or logical fallacies at times, is quite a normal human phenomenon. We all have them about certain things, at certain times. But it’s key is to know what they are, recognize them when they’re happening, and then adjust your thinking and behavior in the moment. For example the popular and wide-spread “bandwagon” logical fallacy is when an idea is accepted as true and valid simply because a lot of people believe it or adhere to it… NOT because there’s actual reliable evidence to prove it true… (flat earth phenomenon ring a bell?)

Anyone who has ever overreacted or catastrophized a situation, or spoken the words “never” or “always” with any frequency is demonstrating versions or variations of irrationality or faulty, or fallacious thinking. It’s predictably pompous and comical to claim otherwise.

Nothing screams I’m scared shitless, and full-of-shit, more than false bravado and denial cloaked in self-righteousness. @tomleu

I’ve heard it said that humility is the beginning of greatness. So begin being great by being honest with yourself. Admit you don’t have all the answers. Be open to new information, even if it challenges you to your core and gets you all worked up. Likely, it’s these visceral reactions and this resistance that’s trying to tell you something. Listen to it… It’s okay, no one else is perfect either…

Stay tuned-in…


 

Walking Contradictions

hypocrisy

So many people are fucking walking contradiction’s of themselves. Hypocrisy is another word for this, and runs rampant in the world.

You’ve got your atheists who pray to their “god,” your Christians who cuss, smoke, drink and screw outside of marriage (none of which bother me one iota mind you), your politicians who preach tolerance, yet behave intolerantly, and your everday Joe’s who are self-righteous, social media motivators while their real lives are a hot mess. And on and on…

What’s worse is that so many people post their proclamations, espouse their motivational messages, waive their self-serving fucking flags, and do their damnedest to convince anyone who will listen that they are something they’re not.

Oh I get it… we’re only human. We all fall short, make mistakes, and need to improve. Including me. I’m not perfect of course. Far from it. I get it wrong, and fuck up often. I’m one of these walking contradictions myself at times. I’ve been known to put on a good public showing while my private show is out of control.

>> I mean, you can’t write a post like this and NOT cop to this shit as well without being an A-1 hypocritical asshole yourself.

But I also admit this shit, and resolve to get better. To improve. To learn. To grow.

That’s why am writing this. Because I know I’m not alone. I see so much bullshit out there, as you likely do as well. People are constantly posturing and posing to present as someone they’re really not. It’s a show; it’s smoke and mirrors. We can all benefit so much more by just being as transparent and honest as possible. This is something that requires ongoing attention and deliberate work to actually achieve.

the shiFt:

Want a better, authentic life for you and yours? Want more congruency that comes from actually walking the talk? Want to be a better person? Great…

Then get fucking after it by getting humble. Start by taking off the mask. Get honest with yourself first, and then everyone you care about second. Tell the truth about your true self… good and not so good. Show the people who matter who you really are instead of putting on a Facebook front of who you really are. The world will be a much better place if we all got on board this train instead of continuing a dead end journey on the bullshit bus.

Stay tuned-in…

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Audacity of Certainty

certainty

Are you capable of being wrong? No, I mean really capable of saying “I got that wrong, I missed the boat on that one, I got some bad information, I blew that, I’m promptly removing my head from my ass now?”

Are you truly willing and able to own shit like that? Really be honest in answering this question because it’s a big one. A really big one. Perhaps the biggest one of all. One that significantly influences your long-term ability to be influential by abandoning the audacity of certainty in favor of humility of certainty. Humility is required to be the most productive and contributing at the highest levels. Embracing humility and escaping audacity where and when necessary is an acquired skill-set and an ongoing choice.

Many claim it, but do not demonstrate it. These personality types are convinced that their world-view about anything and everything is the only thing. They’re incapable of being wrong. It’s impossible someone else has a better idea. It’s a farce to think that there’s a different way than their way. And this folly is the downfall to many a leader, lover, and level-headed wanna-be the world over.

Feeling certain and being certain are different. I feel certain about many things, but it doesn’t guarantee my feelings are true in actuality. My theories must be tested, my assertions must be able to stand up to scrutiny to truly be certainties. There’s nothing un-noble (is that even a word?) about uncertainty. See, I just demonstrated it there. It’s freeing and fun… you should try it too.

Hear me clearly: Having strong views, leanings, and likes is noble, good, and necessary. I’m inspired by those inspired to speak their mind, stand their ground, and proclaim their truth. I encourage it, and do it myself. My point here is to also be able to examine your truths as passionately as you proclaim them, and be willing to abandon them if they don’t hold up under objective analysis. There’s always more to learn. There’s always new information to uncover. There’s always the possibility that we have bad information. There’s always the possibility that we have incomplete information. The answer to the “Is it possible” question has to always be yes.

“The one unchangeable certainty is that nothing is unchangeable or certain.” – John F. Kennedy

I wonder if the know-it-all breed count on learning this? The greatest humility, therefore the most advantageous strength, is in recognizing that no one knows it all, though many assert the opposite by their behaviors and actions. Being so certain that you’re unwilling to be uncertain is the malignant audacity that adherents pay for mightily. Avoid it at all costs. Get humble; get honest; and get on with the business of being open to being open.

QUESTION for you: How willing are you to truly accept others’ ideas, opinions, and viewpoints? Especially when they are in direct opposition with yours? Leave your comments below.

Stay tuned-in…

Please share and click HERE for info on my Communichology course.

Get my articles and exclusive content with science-based insights to shiFt your communication from adequate to ass-kicking!