Hard truth: People are self-centered more than they’re not.

Everyone’s favorite subject is themselves; whether they admit it or not. **Think about it: you’re thinking about you and yours, much more than anyone or anything else, the majority of the time. Your day, your job, your money, your family, your friends, your food, your plans, your life…

It’s not negative. It’s normal. It’s survival. You have to think about these things to take care of the business of your life. To survive…

And as such, each and every person is therefore in the “sales” business.

And knowing this, and acting on this, gives you a huge advantage socially and professionally. It’s a core principle of Communichology™ that I write and speak on often.

Those who are truly successful at marketing, promoting, and persuading others understand one key distinction:

Whatever you do or produce has to make people feel something about themselves to get them to respond.

Be it hope or fear, it’s the feelings tied to their emotions that people actually “buy” (literally or figuratively).

Your offering (a product, service, or yourself) must move them emotionally first, before it will move them behaviorally.

Your offering must communicate something that is about them and for them.

If it’s about you or someone else, they’ll care less. They’ll get bored and move on. So if they believe it’s about them, they’ll stay tuned-in and interested.

Most people are most interested in that which relates to them and theirs. To fill their needs by increasing their pleasure and by reducing their pain. To discover ways to better their lives by enhancing what’s already good and/or by improving what’s not-so-good.

**All of life’s pursuits, passions, progress, and problems involve people endlessly searching for ways to fill these needs.

So you “make it” by filling a need and making it feel like it’s about them, not you.

Make someone feel and you’ve now made a fan.

To do this, you must…

Present the universal so that it’s perceived as personal.

Then they will pay attention. Then they will respond.

Which is what you want. Which is also what you need.

Because this isn’t about them. It’s actually about you.

It’s for you:

  • …to use
  • …to do
  • …what you need to do
  • …to feel the way
  • …you want to feel
  • …about you.

It’s a win-win.

And then it comes full circle, and then cycle begins again…

Stay tuned-in…

Click HERE for info on my Communichology course.

Get my articles and exclusive content with science-based insights to shiFt your communication from adequate to ass-kicking!


the talk shiFt Top 10: Part One


The talk shiFt Top 10 (Part One)… Violations and Absurdities

>> Part Two (6-10)

1. Offended by “strong language” – It’s not a matter of IF you use strong language or not, it’s a matter of whether strong language is a real part of who you are or not. I couldn’t give two shits whether someone swears or not when speaking or writing, it doesn’t affect me either way, just be fucking consistent. I come from a real-world where occasional (or frequent) use of cursing is the norm. If you don’t, that’s fine. Just don’t come here busting my balls because you’re offended. Move on. For my purposes here, the use of “strong language” is a deliberate choice because it’s consistent with “who I am when no one’s looking…” Some could benefit from trying on this genuineness and authenticity for a change; it’s pretty liberating and does not violate #2. For more on this, check out Power of the Potty Mouth.

2.  Hypocrisy – First off, 99.9976% (non-scientific) of those who wave flag #1 above, are also part of #2 by default. You see, everyone has, and will again use “strong language” at some point. If that’s true (and it is), then you’re all hypocrites if #1 on this list chaps your ass. Hypocrisy (noun) = “1. a pretense of having a virtuous character, moral or religious beliefs or principles, etc. that one does not really possess.” Synonym: deceit. ( Hypocrites are the prime offenders in the courts of the talk shiFtosphere. It’s not because I disagree with what you do or stand for, it’s because you don’t have the balls to be honest about it. You deliberately denounce certain things, and then proceed to do them yourself. You’re the worst of the worst. You’re a fraud; a fake. You’re an artificial person living in a fantasy land of your own making. And many are watching… see the closely-related #5 below.

3. Obliviousness – Most are unaware of their collective unawareness. Putting it another way, most have no fucking clue that they’re clueless. Clueless to what? Clueless to what’s really happening around them. Clueless to how others are perceiving them. Clueless to what their non-verbals are screaming out to others. Clueless to how they’re coming off to colleagues, co-workers, supervisors, and what messages they’re sending. Truly clueless to how much damage they’re doing to their personal credibility, both in the short term and the long term. It’s impossible to to really notice nuances when one’s head is so far up their own ass. Pull it out and take a look around, a real look around. You’ll be surprised at what you really “see” and what you’ll learn when you do. Alas, most won’t though. And so, I’ll keep calling it out here, there, and everywhere.

4. Messenger shooters – Everyone’s heard the adage “don’t shoot the messenger” right? Problem is, most still do. And they do it again and again. Why? The are two simple reasons that are products of basic human psychology. 1. People are largely self-centered, and 2. People prefer to shiFt responsibility to others rather than shoulder it themselves. We want what we want, when we want it. When our expectations (realistic or not), aren’t being met, and we’re getting the bad news, it’s easier to chew someone else’s ass out (deserved or not), rather than slowing down enough to consider what else might be at play. Or, ask what your responsibility in this situation may be? Right. What’s the right thing to do? Nah, it’s too much work. Screw that. I’m in hurry, I don’t like what’s happening here. This is pissing me off. That is pissing me off. Now I’m gonna go off… It’s common, but no less acceptable.

5. Thinking you’re smarter than everyone else – This one might be my favorite. At the core, this one’s about audacity. The audacity to think that you’ve got everyone fooled; that the rest of the world is bunch of dumb asses compared to you. The audacity to believe that you’re just so much more clever than the rest of us mere mortals; that you think you can pull shit and it’s not going to be discovered eventually. The audacity to think that you’re gonna get away with it all, without consequences… You’re not. No one is. Karma’s a bitch, and I truly believe that sooner or later, all of you corner-cutting, lying, conniving, cheating, diabolical, hypocritical motherfuckers are going to get yours, and get it good. You know who you are…

*But that said, it’s not too late. You can right the ship. You can stop the madness. You can come clean. You can own your shit, endure the fall-out, and grow the hell up. This choice is far less painful than living a fractured life of false pretenses, lies, and illusions.

**Oh, and before anyone’s panties get all bunched up: Simply because I call these things out doesn’t mean they’ve never applied to me. In fact, the REASON I call this shit out is because I want to reduce the frequency with which I sometimes violate these very things myself. Truthful self-appraisal is evidence of operating from a place of strength. But unfortunatley, this is often nonexistent with chronic sufferers of all of these violations.

See… honesty, humility, transparency, and authenticity. Try these on sometime; the truth might just set you free. Now that’s smart…

Agree or disagree; just no apathy.

Check out Part Two (6-10)

Stay tuned-in…

Click HERE for info on my Communichology course.

Get my articles and exclusive content with science-based insights to shiFt your communication from adequate to ass-kicking!