Three-Sixty-Self

Hard truth: People are self-centered more than they’re not.

Everyone’s favorite subject is themselves; whether they admit it or not. **Think about it: you’re thinking about you and yours, much more than anyone or anything else, the majority of the time. Your day, your job, your money, your family, your friends, your food, your plans, your life…

It’s not negative. It’s normal. It’s survival. You have to think about these things to take care of the business of your life. To survive…

And as such, each and every person is therefore in the “sales” business.

And knowing this, and acting on this, gives you a huge advantage socially and professionally. It’s a core principle of Communichology™ that I write and speak on often.

Those who are truly successful at marketing, promoting, and persuading others understand one key distinction:

Whatever you do or produce has to make people feel something about themselves to get them to respond.

Be it hope or fear, it’s the feelings tied to their emotions that people actually “buy” (literally or figuratively).

Your offering (a product, service, or yourself) must move them emotionally first, before it will move them behaviorally.

Your offering must communicate something that is about them and for them.

If it’s about you or someone else, they’ll care less. They’ll get bored and move on. So if they believe it’s about them, they’ll stay tuned-in and interested.

Most people are most interested in that which relates to them and theirs. To fill their needs by increasing their pleasure and by reducing their pain. To discover ways to better their lives by enhancing what’s already good and/or by improving what’s not-so-good.

**All of life’s pursuits, passions, progress, and problems involve people endlessly searching for ways to fill these needs.

So you “make it” by filling a need and making it feel like it’s about them, not you.

Make someone feel and you’ve now made a fan.

To do this, you must…

Present the universal so that it’s perceived as personal.

Then they will pay attention. Then they will respond.

Which is what you want. Which is also what you need.

Because this isn’t about them. It’s actually about you.

It’s for you:

  • …to use
  • …to do
  • …what you need to do
  • …to feel the way
  • …you want to feel
  • …about you.

It’s a win-win.

And then it comes full circle, and then cycle begins again…

Stay tuned-in…

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Fifty

50

Fleeting. Everything is…

Temporary and taken for granted. Most things are…

This is a universal, and can be upsetting if you dwell on it.

So, why do we take things for granted? Especially that, and those who are most important? The simple answer is because we get caught up in ourselves more than we don’t. We get tunnel vision about our own agendas, wants, and desires. Others then become secondary. Oh, we like to claim that we’re not selfish most of the time to make ourselves feel better, but that’s not really true. That’s not what the research says.

Truth is, most people don’t give two shits about most of what anyone else is doing. Most people’s primary focus is on themselves, first and foremost. While many claim to know this, most don’t apply this so-called common sense into their daily interactions. It requires heightened levels of objective self-awareness and social strategy skills.

I do an in-person and virtual talk called “Tuning Into WIIFM” where I discuss the communication strategies to apply to flip this process 180 degrees. I challenge audiences to meet others’ needs first, and then by doing so, their needs get met on back-end. Sounds simple, but is difficult to implement consistently. It requires ongoing awareness and diligence to the process. It becomes a choice… moment-to-moment literally.

Choose selflessness. It’s the nice thing to do, and it’s the right thing to do.

Stay tuned-in…


 

Forty-Five

45

Are you truly considerate of others feelings? Or do you just tell yourself you are to protect your own? To really care about another’s feelings, you sometimes have to sacrifice your own. You have to abandon your personal impulses toward selfishness and self-satisfaction in favor of selflessness.

Altruism is the opposite of the apathy that plagues the self-absorbed. It’s easy to give in to our own desires because that’s how we’ve been wired biologically after all. It’s much harder to not be a dick; to put others first; to say thank you; to be nice; to do the right thing; and to give a little bit for the betterment of the greater good.

As time passes, the world’s need for us all to be this way versus that way, continues to become more and more apparent and important to me. How about you?

Stay tuned-in…