Sixty-Nine

69

How do you “come off” to others? What vibes do you send out? Ever really considered it? If not, you should.

These are simple questions that are often deceptively difficult to address objectively. A better question is how’s your “How?” This is asking if you’re truly aware of HOW your communication (verbal and nonverbal) is being received by others at any given moment. In-person, and online.

Missing social cues, misunderstanding social cues, or not caring about social cues are three BIG mistakes many make.

Some people are so drunk on their own self-delusion and self-centeredness, that they miss crucial social information happening around them. This “missing” negatively affects the quality of their interpersonal communication skills, and therefore, their outcomes in life. They’re figuratively blind to how negatively they come off to others many times. They’re then stunned when things don’t go their way personally or professionally.

Effective communication is chronically proclaimed as common sense, but its lack of demonstration is all-too-common. Everyone can benefit from a reminder to check yourself, and to check your ego. And then to make adjustments in the moment when necessary to appropriately and strategically conform to any situation to influence and affect your best outcomes.

Stay tuned-in…


 

Sixteen

16

Older. Somewhat wiser. Still committed to learning, growing, and owning my own opportunity areas, despite my recurring resistance to this shit. You know what I mean… Acting on these areas is painful at times, and takes balls, but is truly worth it long-term.

I’ve unfortunately learned that the common sense defense is a commodity regardless of age. Thus there exists a plethora of pretenders out there. But, I’ve also learned that taking the high-road is the best high one can undertake in most cases. The benefit may not be immediate, but it’s a certainty, sooner or later.

Wisdom is demonstrated, not proclaimed

Stay tuned-in…


 

Dare You To Move

I get it.

You get down. You feel out sometimes. You get stuck in ruts… don’t we all right?

But this doesn’t have to mean you’re down and out all the time.

Winners in the game of life aren’t victims; always blaming. Winners are victors; always beginning again. Winners exchange excuses with extra effort and get after it.

With this post, this site, and this life’s work, my life’s work… I’m daring you to move.

I’m daring you to apply all the common sense you claim.

I’m daring you to reach higher levels of performance and acheive whatever it is you aspire to achieve.

the shiFt:

Moving requires taking initiative and being proactive.

It requires being honest with yourself first and foremost. Without this honesty, nothing else matters.

It’s about embracing effective intrapersonal communication skills and understanding your unique psychology.

It’s then about executing effective interpersonal communication skills with everyone you interact with.

This is hard to do. This is often uncomfortable.

Winners willingly choose to live outside of their comfort zones much of the time.

“Everything you want is just outside your comfort zone.” ~ Robert Allan

Winners recognize that this is the place where true growth occurs.

We don’t grow when we’re comfortable. We grow when our pain is sufficient enough to WANT to make necessary changes.

“The tension is here | Between who you are and who you could be | Between how it is and how it should be” ~ Switchfoot

So, I dare you to move… outside of your comfort zone…

And, I dare you to move… inside the vantage point where “seeing things” clearly begins…

It’s the tag line. It’s also the call to action.

Your move…

Stay tuned-in…

Please share and click HERE for info on my Communichology course.

Get my articles and exclusive content with science-based insights to shiFt your communication from adequate to ass-kicking!


 

The “Common Sense” Defense

Sooooo often… sooooo unbelievably often… I hear some variation of the following statement while out training, teaching, or speaking:

“I already ‘know’ all of this stuff; it’s all just ‘common sense‘…”

Really? Give me a break… It’s a BIG, ballsy statement if you really think about it.

Someone is basically saying: “There’s nothing you have to offer here that I’ve not already learned, been exposed to, or already mastered. Your entire life, life experiences, and acquired education can offer me nothing new and useful to apply to my life because I ALREADY KNOW EVERYTHING.”

Wow! Read it again and SAY it out loud this time; hear just how ridiculous this claim actually is…

CSD

By even making this assertion, you’re demonstrating the exact opposite of what you’re claiming. <Strike 1>. This supposed knowing indirectly asserts that the information is somehow less valuable because it’s “common” and therefore a commodity.

The BIG question you should be asking yourself: “Is this knowledge I claim to have evident in my actions?” If the answer is ‘No’ it doesn’t matter how much you ‘Know.’ It quickly becomes knowledge that is worth… less. Not worthless, just less valuable. <Strike 2>.

Knowledge is good. Acquire all you can. Learn, and then learn some more. Read and research ’til your heart’s content. But KNOW this: Knowing and doing are completely different. We all “know” lots of things. It doesn’t mean we consistently apply what we know. It’s not enough to know about something or to simply talk about something. We have to DO something and make things happen for the common to become uncommon. Recognizing this distinction and putting good knowledge into action to produce real, tangible results is rare.

Uncommon success in any area of life requires taking common sense on the road so-to-speak.

Those who are unable to bridge this knowledge-to-action gap (either because of oblivion or obstinance), are likely suffering from what I call the “Common Sense” Defense. This is a conscious and/or subconscious defense mechanism people use to manage their disappointment around their lack of progress or production in certain areas. This technique shields a person from the discomfort associated with facing themselves up-close-and-personal. This is so uncomfortable for many, that any method to avoid it will be employed. The most common tactic is to claim “common sense.”

“Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age 18.” ~ Albert Einstein

Smoking is an obvious, yet powerful example. No one will argue that smoking is hazardous for the health of the human body. People die from it every day. We can call this common sense because everybody knows it. Yet millions still smoke despite this common knowledge. History proves that the most profound wisdom and universal truths are simple to understand, yet often difficult to implement.

If your supposed knowledge is not evident in your actions; if I cannot “see” it demonstrated in your behavior, then this “knowledge” you claim is compromised, therefore inconsequential.

the shiFt:

Instead of proclaiming what you supposedly “know,” start demonstrating it in what you DO, everyday, in every way. Of course what some call common sense, others call crazy. It becomes a matter of perspective based on one’s social, cultural and educational background.

Soooo, to all of the “know-it-alls” out there, keep reading, listening, and watching here, there, and everywhere because YOU are the ones who likely Need It Most… If not, <Strike 3>…

Stay tuned-in…


Please share and click HERE for info on my Communichology course.

Get my articles and exclusive content with science-based insights to shiFt your communication from adequate to ass-kicking!