Lovers & Haters

“To escape criticism… do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.”~ Elbert Hubbard

As a creator of any kind of content, the middle-ground is the dead zone.

Getting lovers gets you haters.

For the same reasons that you cause some to “love” you and what you do, you’re necessarily going to cause some to “hate” you and what you do.

This is good. Marketing. Business. Life theology.

This IS what you want…

“If you’re not generating a negative response from someone, you’re probably not fascinating anyone.”~ Sally Hogshead

I say it often: I’m not seeking consensus nor controversy within my work. I’m seeking critical thinking. Dissension gets attention but is often a cruel tool. But recognize that being polarizing at times can be very positive for your purposes. Move away from the middle…

Well-known examples of people who provoke strong love/hate reactions for many just by mentioning their name: Donald Trump, Kanye West, Axl Rose, Howard Stern, Simon Cowell, Russell Brand, Bill O’Reilly, Bill Maher. How about brussel sprouts, black licorice, CNN, Fox News, televangelists, and on and on…?

Understand that the mere presence of haters means you’ve struck a powerful chord. Take this as success, not failure, because you’re now finally on the radar.

Don’t hate the haters. They’re confirmation that what you’re doing has real merit. Their rabid rancor is the result of the compelling communication of your content.

Diplomatic, vanilla-flavored fluff isn’t going to get anyone’s attention anywhere.

“There is no defense against criticism except obscurity.”~ Joseph Addison

I’ll always advocate choosing to overcome critical adversity rather than endure habitual obscurity.

Resist the urge to please the majority.

Instead, persist in the urgency to please your minority… that niche you know digs what you do.

This will win you more fans than foes in the long run.

This may require a shiFt in perspective.

This may also require that you unapologetically grow a pair.

You see, some will love that “ballsy” last line while others will hate it.

But I can’t care because this is how I think, how I talk at times, and who I am. The real me.

So, I love you lovers, and I love you haters.

What about you?

Come one, come some… just come. Perhaps in pairs… 🙂

Stay tuned-in…

Please share and click HERE for info on my Communichology course.

Get my articles and exclusive content with science-based insights to shiFt your communication from adequate to ass-kicking!


 

Three-Sixty-Self

Hard truth: People are self-centered more than they’re not.

Everyone’s favorite subject is themselves; whether they admit it or not. **Think about it: you’re thinking about you and yours, much more than anyone or anything else, the majority of the time. Your day, your job, your money, your family, your friends, your food, your plans, your life…

It’s not negative. It’s normal. It’s survival. You have to think about these things to take care of the business of your life. To survive…

And as such, each and every person is therefore in the “sales” business.

And knowing this, and acting on this, gives you a huge advantage socially and professionally. It’s a core principle of Communichology™ that I write and speak on often.

Those who are truly successful at marketing, promoting, and persuading others understand one key distinction:

Whatever you do or produce has to make people feel something about themselves to get them to respond.

Be it hope or fear, it’s the feelings tied to their emotions that people actually “buy” (literally or figuratively).

Your offering (a product, service, or yourself) must move them emotionally first, before it will move them behaviorally.

Your offering must communicate something that is about them and for them.

If it’s about you or someone else, they’ll care less. They’ll get bored and move on. So if they believe it’s about them, they’ll stay tuned-in and interested.

Most people are most interested in that which relates to them and theirs. To fill their needs by increasing their pleasure and by reducing their pain. To discover ways to better their lives by enhancing what’s already good and/or by improving what’s not-so-good.

**All of life’s pursuits, passions, progress, and problems involve people endlessly searching for ways to fill these needs.

So you “make it” by filling a need and making it feel like it’s about them, not you.

Make someone feel and you’ve now made a fan.

To do this, you must…

Present the universal so that it’s perceived as personal.

Then they will pay attention. Then they will respond.

Which is what you want. Which is also what you need.

Because this isn’t about them. It’s actually about you.

It’s for you:

  • …to use
  • …to do
  • …what you need to do
  • …to feel the way
  • …you want to feel
  • …about you.

It’s a win-win.

And then it comes full circle, and then cycle begins again…

Stay tuned-in…

Please share and click HERE for info on my Communichology course.

Get my articles and exclusive content with science-based insights to shiFt your communication from adequate to ass-kicking!


 

10 Tenets

By now, everyone knows that in today’s lexicon, the term “rock star” is a figurative expression used to identify someone who is great at what they do. For example, if you’re a “rock star” of plumbers, then you likely fix leaks and clean pipes better than your peers. If you’re a “rock star”  teacher, then you connect with and influence your students in ways that will be remembered long after school’s out for summer…

I used to use this phrase quite a bit in my writings a few years back to describe a way of life; a philosophy and a lifestyle if you will. I called it the RockStarWay. But today, these words are overused in pop culture and have become passe in my opinion. So I shit-canned using it all together in my stuff. But, the 10 tenets I used to describe the skills necessary to rock in the real world are still spot on and always applicable. So these are for the 5% of people who are interested in getting the best possible personal and professional end-results and outcomes by embracing and demonstrating skills in several key areas.

Here are the 10 TENETS (core principles) of Lifestyle Initiative Training:

1) Commit to being a GREAT COMMUNICATOR – Easier said than done. Few are as good at this as they think they are. All transactions with people, places, and things begin and end with communication in all of its various forms, in all types of situations and circumstances. Great communication is complex, multifaceted, and requires continual hard work to master ongoing. Intuitively understanding and applying the art and science of “Communichology™” is a key concept and cornerstone of Lifestyle Initiative Training.

2) Practice being PERSUASIVE – People don’t get lucky, they influence outcomes. The intersection of preparation and opportunity is where movers and shakers consciously place themselves to get ahead. Make others feel empowered by appealing to their needs. Master human relations skills and others will follow you. The successful understand that “success” and “failure” is largely their own fault. The ability to positively influence intention and action in yourself, and in others, is a key concept of Lifestyle Initiative Training.

3) Demonstrate COMPASSION – Those who put others first, ultimately never finish last. Extending an uplifting and encouraging attitude, and hand toward others is contagious. Caring for more than just yourself, your stuff, and the center of your universe is a key concept of Lifestyle Initiative Training.

4) Seek opportunities to LEARN new things – The smartest in the room know what they don’t know. Wisdom is the recognition that there is always more to learn or unlearn. Critical thinking is the rule, not the exception. Answering “Yes” to the “Is it possible…” question is a key concept of Lifestyle Initiative Training.

5) Accept RESPONSIBILITY and seek SOLUTIONS – Living in problems only perpetuates them. Recognizing what’s wrong and then resolving to solve is how excuses become extinct. It’s those who stop blaming everything that truly start becoming something. Being accountable becomes desirable. Admitting mistakes and owning your own honesty is a key concept of Lifestyle Initiative Training.

6) Embrace CHANGE – The only certainty is recurring uncertainty. A person’s success is proportional to the amount of change they can endure. Being flexible and pliable is more than nice; it’s necessary. The ability to adjust on-the-fly and in-the-moment, while still producing top quality is a key concept of Lifestyle Initiative Training.

7) Take massive ACTION – Action is the antidote to fear. Life is full of too many risk-talkers and not enough risk-takers. Following deliberate and diligent planning, systematically executing your plans at high levels is a key concept of Lifestyle Initiative Training.

8) Master your EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE – Beyond reading, writing, and arithmetic, it’s much harder to be “smarter” emotionally. It’s also arguably more important in the big picture. Being aware of both your own, as well as others’ emotional states is a crucial skill-set to develop; and then the to ability to manage your emotions for situational-appropriateness and effectiveness is a key concept of Lifestyle Initiative Training.

9) Be a student of SOCIAL STRATEGY – This is the all-important art and science of understanding human nature within the context of complex social situations. Leaders must study how human beings effectively interact socially to achieve their desired outcomes for maximum benefit. The most perceptive among us gain valuable perspective by “seeing things” and missing less than most. Strategically understanding how to successfully navigate the many varied and intricate social interactions we find ourselves in is a key concept of Lifestyle Initiative Training.

10) Commit to RECOVER – from that which ails you in the form of neuroses, rejection, and/or addiction by being clear-headed, cogent, and conscientious . It’s not if bad stuff happens; it’s when. Winners recognize this and are able to rebound from both internal and external challenges. Neither extreme optimism nor pessimism is necessary. Possessing a healthy realism and a resilience to not only survive, but to thrive is a key concept of Lifestyle Initiative Training.

Acknowledging that these 10 tenets are easy to read and understand, but hard to own and execute is the first step. Being willing to work toward mastery of these areas is a lifestyle worth initiating.

Stay tuned-in…


 

A Million to One?

million to oneA million to one… are these the odds for success?

Not necessarily.

Hedge your bet by inverting this assertion. It should read one to a million

In radio, DJ’s and hosts are trained to speak as if they’re broadcasting to an audience of just one person (note: not all professional broadcasters in radio I’ve worked with endorse this approach however. Some prefer to focus on a ‘small group’ of people instead of just one. Call it a “niche” perhaps).

Regardless, the idea is to keep the feel of the “conversation” intimate and personal. To establish and keep a connection… This philosophy is sage advice for any circumstance that involves interacting and influencing others.

The target audience needs to begin with just one.

Maybe it will get to one million, maybe it won’t.

Either way, it doesn’t really matter if what you’re doing really matters.

Matters to who?

To you.

Because if what you’re putting out there is important (to you), and if your content is impactful (to others), then the size of the audience, especially in the beginning, is less important than all of the aforementioned factors. If those elements are there, you will eventually attract interest. Many get this whole thing backwards. They’re planning for, and marketing to the big audience before they’re even sure who their small audience is.

Connecting with just one person…

Making a difference to just one person…

Impacting just one person…

Getting through to just one person…

Helping just one person…

… is the ONE thing worth millions.

The world tells us that the numbers matter; the heart tells us that they don’t.

So work toward being one in million, instead of worrying about a-million-to-one odds.

Odds are, the truth of the matter… your truth within the matter… is what really matters most.

Stay tuned-in…

Movers & Shakers

You know the type…

Those ambitious people whose actions make it seem like everyone else is standing still. Those who are always going and doing and accomplishing things. Those who consistently make things happen. Those over-achievers who sometimes, if you’re being honest, piss you off.

You know the type, right?

These are the movers and shakers. The action-takers.

“The few who do are the envy of the many who only watch.” ~ Jim Rohn

Why do you think these types bug you at times?

Is it what they’re doing that’s bothering you?

Or…

Is it what you’re not doing that’s the real issue?

Love ’em or hate ’em, movers and shakers make you think.

They present you with two choices.

You either:

  1. ALIGN with them… (OR)
  2. ALIENATE from them…

Choosing to align with movers and shakers speaks volumes about you. It demonstrates confidence, security, and big-picture thinking.

Choosing to alienate from movers and shakers also speaks volumes. It communicates fear, insecurity, and short-sightedness.

The majority of people mistakenly and predictably choose the latter.

Their ego won’t allow the former.

True movers and shakers recognize other movers and shakers and jump at opportunities to align with them. They don’t operate in isolation. Part of the reason they are movers and shakers in the first place, is because they intuitively recognize the benefits and advantages of aligning themselves with other ambitious people. They understand that surrounding themselves with other similar, yet different types of talent, will push them to even greater heights. It’s a deliberate and premeditated form of marketing and persuasion. This is smart. And, this is rare.

But, make no mistake: moving and shaking isn’t for everyone. Players pay a price. You gotta feel the shake. It’s a double-edged sword sometimes.

“I envy people who can just look at a sunset. I wonder how you can shoot it. There is nothing more grotesque to me than a vacation.” ~ Dustin Hoffman

It’s hard to turn it off. And it’s hard to strike a balance at times. But it’s worth it, because the alternative is not.

So, don’t alienate the movers and shakers. Embrace them and align with them. Set yourself up to achieve even more by making the smarter moves and shakes.

Stay tuned-in…


 

Nobody from Nowhere?

The internet (and now, social media) is the great equalizer especially if you are a “nobody from nowhere” – someone without a famous pedigree, a fat wallet, or exceptional circumstances.

Nothing has leveled the playing field giving us all access to the world market quite like the internet has. But to make a name for yourself in any endeavor, you must create a product, service, or brand that is visible and viable for it to be perceived as valuable.

Visible – First, people have to know about you and/or your product, and where to get you and/or your product.

Viable – Second, you and/or your product must be capable of solving problems quickly and easily.

Visible + Viable = VALUABLE

Visibility without viability, or viability without visibility equals little/no perceived value. This is a big problem.

Your stuff must attract both lovers & haters to really make an impact.

How you and your stuff is communicated affects the psychology of the consumers. And this communicational approach should be tailored to the psychology of your target market. Translation: Give people what they want, the way they want it.

The best product doesn’t necessarily win. The product that’s perceived as the best wins…

If what you do is perceived (notice I said perceived; it may or may not be in actuality) to be a commodity, then you have a steeper hill to climb. If something is a commodity, and everybody has it or can get it easily, its value goes way down.

It’s called branding, but it sounds easier than it often is.

The challenge is to make what you do appear unique, therefore in low supply, therefore very valuable. Put a different spin on the tried-and-true. Intend to break the mold. Create something that would get your attention. If your product isn’t necessarily unique, the way you deliver it must be. Capitalize on what makes you, YOU!

Unsigned bands, fitness products, and motivational resources for example, are all definitely commodities. Content-creators are vying for attention from content-consumers. But it’s more crowded and competitive today than ever before due to the internet. You’ve got to stand out and be set apart.

“Success is mostly just about getting heard. Success is feeling validated.” ~ Michael Laskow

So with whatever you do, sometimes just having people pay attention is compensation enough and a good start. The internet and social media can create opportunities, but you must deliver the goods once you’ve got a foot in the door. To truly transcend being a nobody from nowhere… become visible, viable, and ultimately valuable.

If you wanna get heard, then you must separate yourself from the herd.

Stay tuned-in…