Avoid-Dance

“I don’t want to go there; I don’t want to talk about that…”

I hear this quite a bit within the different aspects of my work. The frequency of this isn’t surprising, but the high price we pay for this choice often is. There’s a large, collective cost attached to avoidance and denial. It’s often not immediately apparent, but it’s definitely there. It’s called “avoid-dance” for a reason. Because that’s exactly what it is: a fucking dance… a death dance that slowly kills you from the inside out.

Anywhere you don’t want go (emotionally) is exactly where you need to be… (immediately). – @tomleu

It’s normal to want to avoid problems because problems = pain. Nobody wants more pain, we’ve got enough of that shit already right? Many psychologists suggest that the human drive to avoid pain is higher and tends to be more prevalent than our drive to seek pleasure. Read that again. It’s called “avoidance coping” or “escape coping” for a reason. But here’s the thing: side-stepping isn’t a solution; it’s a band-aid, and a weak one at that. The longer anyone avoids their own crap and refuses “to go there,” the bigger the problem becomes, and the less effective the band-aid becomes over time. Have the stones to rip that shit off.

We all have to “go there” sometimes because “there” is where the real solutions to the problems live. Believe it or not, the pain of dealing with the here and now is far less than enduring the pain accumulated by avoiding shit week-after-month-after-year-after-year. It’s called recovery (from whatever is ailing you). Going there is good. Go there so you don’t have to live there.

Face it, fix it, and move on. It’s a risk worth taking. Easier said than done, but no less possible…

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Sixty-Four

64

Accountability? What is it really?

Is it just a check list of shit to do? Is it ensuring that you’re doing all you need to be doing? Is it some kind of Big Brother thing put in place to watch over you? Is it being held to a standard? Is it having the bar raised around you to promote peak performance? Is it having to overcome complacency? Is it pushing your buttons at times? Is it challenging you to do more; to go farther; and to excel?

It’s all of this and more.

In actuality, accountability is quite often about pain. The presence of applicable pain necessary to push people through limitations and do far more than they ever thought possible. Pain can be positive, when put in perspective. I’ve heard it said that “pain is mediocrity leaving the body.” I love that.

And for the 5% reading this now, I trust you will too…

Stay tuned-in…

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Juicy

Despite what the world tries to tell us and sell us time and time again…

Life can get better. People can change. People can recover. People can achieve happiness and contentment in life. People can improve their circumstances and outcomes.

More than idealism, I speak from the realism produced from direct personal experience.

New careers get launched, new relationships are born, new lifestyles afford new freedoms, and a new serenity becomes reality. This for the 5% who have the courage to stay the course and to stop complaining.

Most limits are illusions. They are self-made, self-imposed excuses to stagnate and never challenge the status-quo.

Good things do happen for those who persevere and engage in responsible risk-taking vs. only risk-talking. It has to start with helping yourself first.

At every seminar of his I’ve ever attended, Tony Robbins always talks about striving to get the “juice” out of life. He encourages people to pursue those passions that move them and really mean something to them. He claims that this “juice” is what everyone longs to drink-in, but are held back from its pursuit for any number of different reasons.

I believe that to really get the “juice” out of something requires enduring the pressure that comes along with change and risk. Change isn’t easy, but possible provided people endure the challenges and reap the rewards that pressure produces.

To get the juice out of an orange requires it to be squeezed… sometimes very hard, for some time, for any results to become evident. I’ve heard it said that pain is the greatest teacher.

People need to be pressed, pressured, and endure pain sometimes as well to get at this proverbial “juice.” Getting real uncomfortable is often THE prerequisite for change. Adding pressure and squeezing for improved performance is often necessary to truly be moved and motivated toward the changes required to get the most out of our life situations.

This “juice” resides not on the easy-to-see exterior, but on the harder-to-reach interior.

It requires getting honest and telling ourselves the truth.

This is often the hardest thing anyone ever has to do because it sounds too simple and too easy. But, it’s anything but…

Once able to look ourselves in the mirror with a respect that’s free of regret, the pressure begins to become more manageable. Options become more prevalent and happiness begins to become more abundant.

It ‘ain’t always easy, and it ‘aint always fun, but it can be done.

It starts with a little hope mixed with a lot of determination, and then the courage to make the first move in a different direction.

Drink it in…

For more >> www.RecoveryCollective.net

Stay tuned-in…