Bitching. Moaning. Whining. Complaining. It’s all some people seem to do. It’s their identity and their attention-seeking mechanism. They’re quick to point out what sucks, what doesn’t work, why it’s never worked, and who’s to blame. They’re easy to spot because their language is laced with self-pity. They’re seemingly incapable of NOT living in the past.
News flash: There’s no nobility in this. There’s no redeeming value in choosing this lifestyle. And make no mistake… it IS a choice. It’s so easy to point fingers. It’s so easy to cry foul. It’s so terribly easy to be a victim… which is why so many do.
As an organizational leader (and I argue that we are ALL leaders of something, somewhere), I’m looking for those who have the courage to go against the grain. Those who have the balls to step-up, and come up with real solutions to real problems. Those who aren’t afraid to be objective about their part in past failures, but who also aren’t afraid to embrace change and to be badass about making things better.
Screw the doom-and-gloomers and the dream-stealers. Be a solution-seeker, or get the hell out of the way. Do it for your sake, and for all of our sakes… for fuck’s sake.
Do things happen for a reason, or do reasons make things happen? Read it again. It’s not word play. It’s the difference between fatalism (i.e. powerlessness) and determinism (i.e. cause & effect). In psychology, it’s referred to as locus of control (and is divided into external vs. internal LOC).
Those who operate with a largely external locus of control seemingly surrender much of their outcomes to other people, places, and things around them and come off as victims. You know, it’s the boss, the spouse, the economy, the government’s fault for why things are as they are… But those who operate with a largely internal locus of control assume the primary responsibility for the outcomes of their lives as the product of the actions THEY take. It’s not someone, or something else’s “fault” for their circumstances or outcomes. I used to tell students in my Psychology classes: “if you get an A in this class, it’s your fault…” Win or lose, it’s on them. Far from victims, they are victors in the truest sense. This is how I’ve always chosen to live. And choosing the alternative is not really living at all. It’s not too late to make a different choice. It never is…
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