Eighty-Six (86)

Unfortunately, this is tough stuff that touches everyone. Either directly or indirectly… But I refuse for this topic to always be a downer; doom and gloom. It can, and does become the opposite, sooner or later. Certainly, addiction and its myriad of reasons for being can be complex and controversial depending on individual circumstances. But, recovery in all its various forms, doesn’t have to be complicated, but some make it so. Some have a need for it to be more complex than it needs to be. This becomes more about justifying their status rather than about another’s state of mind.

Let’s be clear: it’s not easy, nor is it impossible to overcome and rise above the various addictions, vices, devices, distractions, or compulsions (the AV/DC’s) that can ail any of us. Everyone, and every situation is different. But for me… I simply no longer choose to engage in certain self-defeating behaviors that eventually made my world very small. It’s just not who I am anymore. It’s not what I choose to do, nor how I choose to live. The cons eventually outnumbered the pros for me. It’s that simple, though it wasn’t easy to face at first. Don’t confuse simplicity with degree of difficulty.

Once those numbers didn’t add up for me anymore, none of IT worked, and changes needed to be made. I still think about it sometimes. I fondly remember doing this or that once upon a time. Euphoric recall creeps in. Especially when I see others engaging and embracing elements of a lifestyle that’s past tense for me. For a fleeting moment, it can be tough. But when this happens, I choose to let it go and let it be. I remind myself of where I am versus where I was. The comparison is no contest.

So for me, for today… this different path has been producing different outcomes for a long time. Mostly better outcomes, but sometimes just different. It called life. Sometimes there’s celebration. Sometimes there’s consolation. It just is what it is. It’s been up, it’s been down, and then it just becomes the norm. A new normal. I suppose some may view that as both good and bad. Though sometimes it doesn’t always feel so good, it’s definitely all good. I’m fortunate, and I’m continually reminded of that. So I’m reminding me, and I’m reminding you: Whatever it is for you or someone you know, it’s temporary and can be overcome.

Stay tuned-in…

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Seventy-One (71)

You shouldn’t need a fucking invite to be friendly and nice to others. << There’s irony right there… see it?

Maybe I’m old fashioned.

Maybe I took my mother’s expectation to treat people as I wish to be treated to heart. You know, the Golden Rule?

Maybe I believe in the value of others. Even others who have different views than I do.

Maybe I care about how others feel.

Maybe I care about how my actions influence how others feel.

Maybe I’m still ideal enough to look for the good in people.

Maybe I’ve had the courage to face my own inner demons, challenges, and obstacles in life to come out on the other side and finally move forward.

Maybe this inner work serves me today as I’m able to be a mostly positive, proactive human being for the betterment of those around me.

Maybe this is a harder road to hoe.

Maybe most choose the easier, negative, self-pitying, me-against-the-world road.

Maybe that’s bullshit.

Maybe it’s time to get the fuck out of the past.

Maybe many need to hear this right now.

And maybe, just maybe, it’s time for some to step up, and have the balls to look at themselves in the mirror and begin making the changes they’ve long been avoiding.

Maybe it’s finally time…

Maybe.

Stay tuned-in…

Please share and click HERE for info on my Communichology course.

Get my articles and exclusive content with science-based insights to shiFt your communication from adequate to ass-kicking!


 

Fifty-Six

56

Time.

It goes.

Very. Very. Fast…

There’s so much to do. And so much coming at us, seemingly all the time. Rarely do I feel “caught up”… know what I mean? And never feeling caught up or complete(ish) can be soul-crushing. I know, I’ve been there (and sometimes still am)…

So what’s important? Truly important? To make the most progress? Right here. Right now? It’s those things that should get prioritized, and given ample time to matter. But often they don’t, at least not for me. It’s not for a lack of want or contemplation. But that’s just it, it’s mostly just want and contemplation in favor of doing other things, at times. Diversions or distractions are embraced in favor of different priorities, or of being responsible. Big effort is put forth in favor of seeking the favor, and winning the approval of others. A reverse watershed moment if you will. This cycle causes a loss of hunger in my experience. A demoralizing dulling. That’s the fallout of the grind. You and I must change this, or this changes us.

It IS a choice. Make no mistake. As most things are…

Stay tuned-in…


 

Fifty-One

51

An often underestimated critical life skill, personally and professionally, is to recognize when you’re being any one of the following types >> and then knocking it the hell off by making the necessary changes to improve:

  1. the know-it-all
  2. the tool
  3. the dick
  4. the huff and puffer
  5. the crock star
  6. the loud talker
  7. the avoider
  8. the assumer, or
  9. the pretender

Quite a list… Just one short of a Top 10 list… If considering any of these pisses you off, then you’re likely one (or more) of them. And someone who needs it most.

Not negative, just honest; there is a difference.

And there will be lovers & haters no matter what you do. But, if the goal is to attempt to make the world a better place, even if only a little, then you’re winning. And I like to win.

Agree or disagree; just no apathy.

Stay tuned-in…


 

Thirty-Eight

38

Positioning. Politicking. Panicking. It’s what people do; more or less; much of the time. This is all especially noticeable when change brings about uncertainty, unpredictability, and/or opportunity. Folks begin to behave in peculiar ways when the perception is that there’s something significant to gain or something significant to lose. You see, people either rise-up or retreat.

But it’s the rising-up that’s most interesting to observe. There are good, and not-so-good ways to advocate for, and assert yourself. No one has the market cornered on the best ways to go about this. Some to are able to pull this off with tact, poise, and professionalism. Others just end up coming off like bullies. Your approach always has to depend on the people, places, and particulars at play. This is why this stuff is so hard. It’s an art form. One size does not fit all. It requires you to be able to read people, intuit situations, influence others, and react in the best ways to further, not hinder your cause. It means you must have the ability to adjust your own communication and behavior on-the-fly, in the moment, and in response to others, in order to best influence your desired outcomes.

Most think they’re good at this; most are not. It’s kinda scary... How ’bout you?

Stay tuned-in…


 

Thirty

30

Change nothing… expect nothing to change. This is regularly expressed, but rarely executed. Why? Because aside from the human need for variety and some uncertainty at times, the idea of change (especially changing ourselves) is an unwelcome intrusion. People don’t like change because it’s one of the best catalysts to produce fear in most of us. 

And fear is one of the, if not THE, most powerful forces, and potent motivators… many unfortunately choose to avoid at all costs. I know, because I used to as well. So here’s the shiFt: Get clear of which kind of fear you’re actually facing… >> Is it the fear of losing something you already have, or is it the fear of not getting something you want? Clarity around these questions immediately begins to diminish the fear simply by beginning to take a closer look at it. You’ve overcome it before; you can again.

Stay tuned-in…


 

Six

6

Patience.

Admittedly, I’m not the most patient person at times. I’m especially impatient when witnessing others making excuses and squandering their time and their opportunities to grow and improve, to make the changes necessary to get better personally and professionally. It’s my passion and my plight.

I’m writing this to challenge myself, and to challenge you to pursue more daily patience.

Patience to reflect. Patience to reason. Patience to reveal. Patience to react.

Patience is rare.

Patience is rewarding.

Patience is required.

Stay tuned-in…