Three-Sixty-Self

Hard truth: People are self-centered more than they’re not.

Everyone’s favorite subject is themselves; whether they admit it or not. **Think about it: you’re thinking about you and yours, much more than anyone or anything else, the majority of the time. Your day, your job, your money, your family, your friends, your food, your plans, your life…

It’s not negative. It’s normal. It’s survival. You have to think about these things to take care of the business of your life. To survive…

And as such, each and every person is therefore in the “sales” business.

And knowing this, and acting on this, gives you a huge advantage socially and professionally. It’s a core principle of Communichology™ that I write and speak on often.

Those who are truly successful at marketing, promoting, and persuading others understand one key distinction:

Whatever you do or produce has to make people feel something about themselves to get them to respond.

Be it hope or fear, it’s the feelings tied to their emotions that people actually “buy” (literally or figuratively).

Your offering (a product, service, or yourself) must move them emotionally first, before it will move them behaviorally.

Your offering must communicate something that is about them and for them.

If it’s about you or someone else, they’ll care less. They’ll get bored and move on. So if they believe it’s about them, they’ll stay tuned-in and interested.

Most people are most interested in that which relates to them and theirs. To fill their needs by increasing their pleasure and by reducing their pain. To discover ways to better their lives by enhancing what’s already good and/or by improving what’s not-so-good.

**All of life’s pursuits, passions, progress, and problems involve people endlessly searching for ways to fill these needs.

So you “make it” by filling a need and making it feel like it’s about them, not you.

Make someone feel and you’ve now made a fan.

To do this, you must…

Present the universal so that it’s perceived as personal.

Then they will pay attention. Then they will respond.

Which is what you want. Which is also what you need.

Because this isn’t about them. It’s actually about you.

It’s for you:

  • …to use
  • …to do
  • …what you need to do
  • …to feel the way
  • …you want to feel
  • …about you.

It’s a win-win.

And then it comes full circle, and then cycle begins again…

Stay tuned-in…

Please share and click HERE for info on my Communichology course.

Get my articles and exclusive content with science-based insights to shiFt your communication from adequate to ass-kicking!


 

Seventy-Five (75)

Instructions: Enjoy the journey. Live in the Now.

Reduce discontentment by choosing to be happy where you’re at, and with what you’ve got. It’s a choice that we all have to make daily perhaps… at least I do.

Another big distinction for me is to manage my expectations. What I “expect” and what life frequently produces are often very different. It’s on me if I let that reality derail me. I must stop being disillusioned by the others. I must stop giving others the power to chronically upset me. I must stop being surprised and disappointed when others let me down. Nothing is perfect. No person is; least of all me. People let people down. It’s the way of the world. Being lazy, cutting corners, and doing the bare minimum is the rule, not the exception, for many people unfortunately.

So what can we do? Do what YOU can do to be a positive influence. Take PRIDE in the quality of YOUR work. Encourage others to be the best possible version of themselves. Minimize your time spent with those who are victims, dicks, dream-stealers, and know-it-all’s. Cut them loose permanently where/when possible, as soon as possible. YOUR happiness (and mine) in this short life is dependent upon it.

Stay tuned-in…

Please share and click HERE for info on my Communichology course.

Get my articles and exclusive content with science-based insights to shiFt your communication from adequate to ass-kicking!


 

Seventy-Two (72)

You and I don’t know many things.

For instance: You never know who may be watching you; silently observing you.

You never know who may think you’re great. You never know who may think you’re a tool. You never know who you may be influencing positively or negatively. You never know who may be in a position of influence over you at some point in the future. You never know how this may impact your life now or later; more or less.

You and I may just never fully know some things…

So… it’s wise to recognize what your behavior is saying about you. It’s wise to consider how you make others feel. Because how you make others feel says a lot about you. It’s wise to pay attention to who may be paying attention to you. It’s wise to be self-aware enough to notice when others think you’re full of shit. It’s wise to stop pretending that you have all the answers. It’s wise to listen more, and talk less. It’s wise to own your own shortcomings (yes, you and I have them… many perhaps), and resolve to improve. It’s wise to show appreciation and respect to those who deserve it. It’s wise to be more humble and gracious.

It’s wise to consider applying wisdom vs. only acquiring knowledge.

It’s even more wise to do this daily… Right. Now.

Stay tuned-in…

Please share and click HERE for info on my Communichology course.

Get my articles and exclusive content with science-based insights to shiFt your communication from adequate to ass-kicking!


 

Seventy-One (71)

You shouldn’t need a fucking invite to be friendly and nice to others. << There’s irony right there… see it?

Maybe I’m old fashioned.

Maybe I took my mother’s expectation to treat people as I wish to be treated to heart. You know, the Golden Rule?

Maybe I believe in the value of others. Even others who have different views than I do.

Maybe I care about how others feel.

Maybe I care about how my actions influence how others feel.

Maybe I’m still ideal enough to look for the good in people.

Maybe I’ve had the courage to face my own inner demons, challenges, and obstacles in life to come out on the other side and finally move forward.

Maybe this inner work serves me today as I’m able to be a mostly positive, proactive human being for the betterment of those around me.

Maybe this is a harder road to hoe.

Maybe most choose the easier, negative, self-pitying, me-against-the-world road.

Maybe that’s bullshit.

Maybe it’s time to get the fuck out of the past.

Maybe many need to hear this right now.

And maybe, just maybe, it’s time for some to step up, and have the balls to look at themselves in the mirror and begin making the changes they’ve long been avoiding.

Maybe it’s finally time…

Maybe.

Stay tuned-in…

Please share and click HERE for info on my Communichology course.

Get my articles and exclusive content with science-based insights to shiFt your communication from adequate to ass-kicking!


 

4 P’s to Competent Communication

Please consider the following effective practices to put into place to become a more competent and persuasive communicator personally and professionally:

  1. Pause – Excellent communication starts with stopping first. There are great rewards for avoiding knee-jerk reactions. They call them “knee-jerk” because a lot of times a jerk is exactly how you feel afterwards… Pausing gives you more time (to perceive and predict) which often gives you more options (before you proceed).
  2. Perceive – The additional time that pausing produces affords you more opportunity to truly “see” what is happening in the moment. It’s to your benefit to look beyond the surface; to look just underneath the obvious. Heightened perception often leads to new perspectives that help to better (predict) how best (to proceed).
  3. Predict – Next, ask yourself: “What’s happened just before, or is likely to happen just after this encounter?” Educated predictions about pertinent circumstances or situations leading up to, and/or following our interactions result from first (pausing) and then (perceiving).
  4. Proceed – Once you’ve taken an extra second (pause), sought to really “see” (perceive) the nuances, surmised (predict) what came before and what may come next, it’s now time to take the next step (proceed). Executing the first three P’s FIRST, now position you to make the best decisions and the smartest moves next.

A lot of people do this backwards. When interacting with others they often jump right to #4. They first react and proceed impulsively, and only then do they pause, perceive, and predict how to undo what they did… after the fact.

This cycle then becomes a vicious circle starting over again and again… producing similar end results.

To avoid this, the most competent and persuasive communicators are proactive rather than reactive.

Proactive communication requires employing the 4 P’s in order ongoing, within every interaction.

Try it.

Doing so has the potential to make the world a better place one interaction at a time…

Stay tuned-in…


 

10 Tenets

By now, everyone knows that in today’s lexicon, the term “rock star” is a figurative expression used to identify someone who is great at what they do. For example, if you’re a “rock star” of plumbers, then you likely fix leaks and clean pipes better than your peers. If you’re a “rock star”  teacher, then you connect with and influence your students in ways that will be remembered long after school’s out for summer…

I used to use this phrase quite a bit in my writings a few years back to describe a way of life; a philosophy and a lifestyle if you will. I called it the RockStarWay. But today, these words are overused in pop culture and have become passe in my opinion. So I shit-canned using it all together in my stuff. But, the 10 tenets I used to describe the skills necessary to rock in the real world are still spot on and always applicable. So these are for the 5% of people who are interested in getting the best possible personal and professional end-results and outcomes by embracing and demonstrating skills in several key areas.

Here are the 10 TENETS (core principles) of Lifestyle Initiative Training:

1) Commit to being a GREAT COMMUNICATOR – Easier said than done. Few are as good at this as they think they are. All transactions with people, places, and things begin and end with communication in all of its various forms, in all types of situations and circumstances. Great communication is complex, multifaceted, and requires continual hard work to master ongoing. Intuitively understanding and applying the art and science of “Communichology™” is a key concept and cornerstone of Lifestyle Initiative Training.

2) Practice being PERSUASIVE – People don’t get lucky, they influence outcomes. The intersection of preparation and opportunity is where movers and shakers consciously place themselves to get ahead. Make others feel empowered by appealing to their needs. Master human relations skills and others will follow you. The successful understand that “success” and “failure” is largely their own fault. The ability to positively influence intention and action in yourself, and in others, is a key concept of Lifestyle Initiative Training.

3) Demonstrate COMPASSION – Those who put others first, ultimately never finish last. Extending an uplifting and encouraging attitude, and hand toward others is contagious. Caring for more than just yourself, your stuff, and the center of your universe is a key concept of Lifestyle Initiative Training.

4) Seek opportunities to LEARN new things – The smartest in the room know what they don’t know. Wisdom is the recognition that there is always more to learn or unlearn. Critical thinking is the rule, not the exception. Answering “Yes” to the “Is it possible…” question is a key concept of Lifestyle Initiative Training.

5) Accept RESPONSIBILITY and seek SOLUTIONS – Living in problems only perpetuates them. Recognizing what’s wrong and then resolving to solve is how excuses become extinct. It’s those who stop blaming everything that truly start becoming something. Being accountable becomes desirable. Admitting mistakes and owning your own honesty is a key concept of Lifestyle Initiative Training.

6) Embrace CHANGE – The only certainty is recurring uncertainty. A person’s success is proportional to the amount of change they can endure. Being flexible and pliable is more than nice; it’s necessary. The ability to adjust on-the-fly and in-the-moment, while still producing top quality is a key concept of Lifestyle Initiative Training.

7) Take massive ACTION – Action is the antidote to fear. Life is full of too many risk-talkers and not enough risk-takers. Following deliberate and diligent planning, systematically executing your plans at high levels is a key concept of Lifestyle Initiative Training.

8) Master your EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE – Beyond reading, writing, and arithmetic, it’s much harder to be “smarter” emotionally. It’s also arguably more important in the big picture. Being aware of both your own, as well as others’ emotional states is a crucial skill-set to develop; and then the to ability to manage your emotions for situational-appropriateness and effectiveness is a key concept of Lifestyle Initiative Training.

9) Be a student of SOCIAL STRATEGY – This is the all-important art and science of understanding human nature within the context of complex social situations. Leaders must study how human beings effectively interact socially to achieve their desired outcomes for maximum benefit. The most perceptive among us gain valuable perspective by “seeing things” and missing less than most. Strategically understanding how to successfully navigate the many varied and intricate social interactions we find ourselves in is a key concept of Lifestyle Initiative Training.

10) Commit to RECOVER – from that which ails you in the form of neuroses, rejection, and/or addiction by being clear-headed, cogent, and conscientious . It’s not if bad stuff happens; it’s when. Winners recognize this and are able to rebound from both internal and external challenges. Neither extreme optimism nor pessimism is necessary. Possessing a healthy realism and a resilience to not only survive, but to thrive is a key concept of Lifestyle Initiative Training.

Acknowledging that these 10 tenets are easy to read and understand, but hard to own and execute is the first step. Being willing to work toward mastery of these areas is a lifestyle worth initiating.

Stay tuned-in…


 

A Million to One?

million to oneA million to one… are these the odds for success?

Not necessarily.

Hedge your bet by inverting this assertion. It should read one to a million

In radio, DJ’s and hosts are trained to speak as if they’re broadcasting to an audience of just one person (note: not all professional broadcasters in radio I’ve worked with endorse this approach however. Some prefer to focus on a ‘small group’ of people instead of just one. Call it a “niche” perhaps).

Regardless, the idea is to keep the feel of the “conversation” intimate and personal. To establish and keep a connection… This philosophy is sage advice for any circumstance that involves interacting and influencing others.

The target audience needs to begin with just one.

Maybe it will get to one million, maybe it won’t.

Either way, it doesn’t really matter if what you’re doing really matters.

Matters to who?

To you.

Because if what you’re putting out there is important (to you), and if your content is impactful (to others), then the size of the audience, especially in the beginning, is less important than all of the aforementioned factors. If those elements are there, you will eventually attract interest. Many get this whole thing backwards. They’re planning for, and marketing to the big audience before they’re even sure who their small audience is.

Connecting with just one person…

Making a difference to just one person…

Impacting just one person…

Getting through to just one person…

Helping just one person…

… is the ONE thing worth millions.

The world tells us that the numbers matter; the heart tells us that they don’t.

So work toward being one in million, instead of worrying about a-million-to-one odds.

Odds are, the truth of the matter… your truth within the matter… is what really matters most.

Stay tuned-in…