Twenty-Three

23

In recent years, there’s been a lot of chatter out there, and it’s become quite trendy to talk about the importance of self-awareness. I think it’s cool that this subject-matter is finally getting the attention it deserves because it’s so damn important. This shit NEEDS to be taught in schools, right along with the immediate next level concept of  >> situational awareness (that’s another post all together)… Most infamously, Gary Vaynerchuk is all over his vast social media empire incessantly preaching about the importance of self-awareness. And I’m glad because the dude has a huge reach, and a shit-ton of good insights to share.

But increased self-awareness is just the beginning. This must be quickly followed up with specific actions to accentuate and enhance the identified positives and then deemphasize and reduce the negatives in order for any of it to produce any tangible results. Awareness without action is only half the equation for success. What’s the point of knowing, if you’re not committed to doing anything positive with what you know…?

Stay tuned-in…


 

Call to Action

So many are scared… to make a move… a real move… in the right direction…

Sometimes we can be our greatest ally and our own worst enemy simultaneously.

Most people long to live more fully, more freely, to feel more fulfilled, and to contribute more profoundly.

Many have shied away from opportunities, and recoiled from challenges and wonder why they feel like they’re stuck in an infinite funk.

Shooting themselves in foot, and becoming perpetual victims of self-inflicted wounds they say:

“But that’s just how I am. I’ve always been this way.”

But, there are endeavors, ventures, undertakings, projects, and situations that demand a new perspective and approach if we hope to affect different outcomes.

Human behavior is largely influenced by learned mental scripts and activity patterns that have been instilled in us from an early age. Some serve us; some don’t. It’s our job to honestly assess which ones are which.

Let me be clear:

  • I am not advocating becoming someone or something you are not.
  • I am not encouraging people to be artificial, superficial, or fake.
  • I am not urging people to be actors or inauthentic versions of themselves.

Instead…

  • I’m endorsing that people embrace those parts of their personalities that are already there, but may be lying dormant.
  • I’m asking people to move out of their comfort zones and take action in areas that they have historically side-stepped or overlooked.
  • I’m prompting people to get honest and objectively decide to make changes for the best interest of themselves, and others around them.

Anything less is fear-based and the ultimate selfishness. To do less is to deny others the ultimate greatness and uniqueness of you.

So, I’m daring you to move.

“Tension is here | Between who you are and who you could be | Between how it is and how it should be | I dare you to move | I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor” ~ Switchfoot

If the fear of moving into the unknown is the illness, then action is the antidote.

This stuff is live-giving IF embraced.

The call to action begins by making a decision to answer the call; to finally decide to begin doing things differently than you’ve ever done before; and to be disciplined for the benefit all around you.

You’re staring down the barrel of a new beginning.

But nothing changes until you change.

Will you answer the call?

This is the “easier-said-than-done” stuff that most won’t do.

How about you?

Stay tuned-in…

Please share and click HERE for info on my Communichology course.

Get my articles and exclusive content with science-based insights to shiFt your communication from adequate to ass-kicking!


 

10 Tenets

By now, everyone knows that in today’s lexicon, the term “rock star” is a figurative expression used to identify someone who is great at what they do. For example, if you’re a “rock star” of plumbers, then you likely fix leaks and clean pipes better than your peers. If you’re a “rock star”  teacher, then you connect with and influence your students in ways that will be remembered long after school’s out for summer…

I used to use this phrase quite a bit in my writings a few years back to describe a way of life; a philosophy and a lifestyle if you will. I called it the RockStarWay. But today, these words are overused in pop culture and have become passe in my opinion. So I shit-canned using it all together in my stuff. But, the 10 tenets I used to describe the skills necessary to rock in the real world are still spot on and always applicable. So these are for the 5% of people who are interested in getting the best possible personal and professional end-results and outcomes by embracing and demonstrating skills in several key areas.

Here are the 10 TENETS (core principles) of Lifestyle Initiative Training:

1) Commit to being a GREAT COMMUNICATOR – Easier said than done. Few are as good at this as they think they are. All transactions with people, places, and things begin and end with communication in all of its various forms, in all types of situations and circumstances. Great communication is complex, multifaceted, and requires continual hard work to master ongoing. Intuitively understanding and applying the art and science of “Communichology™” is a key concept and cornerstone of Lifestyle Initiative Training.

2) Practice being PERSUASIVE – People don’t get lucky, they influence outcomes. The intersection of preparation and opportunity is where movers and shakers consciously place themselves to get ahead. Make others feel empowered by appealing to their needs. Master human relations skills and others will follow you. The successful understand that “success” and “failure” is largely their own fault. The ability to positively influence intention and action in yourself, and in others, is a key concept of Lifestyle Initiative Training.

3) Demonstrate COMPASSION – Those who put others first, ultimately never finish last. Extending an uplifting and encouraging attitude, and hand toward others is contagious. Caring for more than just yourself, your stuff, and the center of your universe is a key concept of Lifestyle Initiative Training.

4) Seek opportunities to LEARN new things – The smartest in the room know what they don’t know. Wisdom is the recognition that there is always more to learn or unlearn. Critical thinking is the rule, not the exception. Answering “Yes” to the “Is it possible…” question is a key concept of Lifestyle Initiative Training.

5) Accept RESPONSIBILITY and seek SOLUTIONS – Living in problems only perpetuates them. Recognizing what’s wrong and then resolving to solve is how excuses become extinct. It’s those who stop blaming everything that truly start becoming something. Being accountable becomes desirable. Admitting mistakes and owning your own honesty is a key concept of Lifestyle Initiative Training.

6) Embrace CHANGE – The only certainty is recurring uncertainty. A person’s success is proportional to the amount of change they can endure. Being flexible and pliable is more than nice; it’s necessary. The ability to adjust on-the-fly and in-the-moment, while still producing top quality is a key concept of Lifestyle Initiative Training.

7) Take massive ACTION – Action is the antidote to fear. Life is full of too many risk-talkers and not enough risk-takers. Following deliberate and diligent planning, systematically executing your plans at high levels is a key concept of Lifestyle Initiative Training.

8) Master your EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE – Beyond reading, writing, and arithmetic, it’s much harder to be “smarter” emotionally. It’s also arguably more important in the big picture. Being aware of both your own, as well as others’ emotional states is a crucial skill-set to develop; and then the to ability to manage your emotions for situational-appropriateness and effectiveness is a key concept of Lifestyle Initiative Training.

9) Be a student of SOCIAL STRATEGY – This is the all-important art and science of understanding human nature within the context of complex social situations. Leaders must study how human beings effectively interact socially to achieve their desired outcomes for maximum benefit. The most perceptive among us gain valuable perspective by “seeing things” and missing less than most. Strategically understanding how to successfully navigate the many varied and intricate social interactions we find ourselves in is a key concept of Lifestyle Initiative Training.

10) Commit to RECOVER – from that which ails you in the form of neuroses, rejection, and/or addiction by being clear-headed, cogent, and conscientious . It’s not if bad stuff happens; it’s when. Winners recognize this and are able to rebound from both internal and external challenges. Neither extreme optimism nor pessimism is necessary. Possessing a healthy realism and a resilience to not only survive, but to thrive is a key concept of Lifestyle Initiative Training.

Acknowledging that these 10 tenets are easy to read and understand, but hard to own and execute is the first step. Being willing to work toward mastery of these areas is a lifestyle worth initiating.

Stay tuned-in…


 

resolu-SHUN

resolu_shun

Resolve to make no resolutions this new year, or any other “new” year. It’s an exercise in futility. Why? Because if you feel a “resolution” is the necessary impetus to initiate the changes you deem important, then you’re already in arrears. A resolution is nothing more than a well-intentioned promise that you voice. Specific action should precede any proclamation.

The root word of resolution is resolute, which means admirably purposeful, determined, and unwavering. Someone truly resolute about making changes does not delay it, nor announce it only at the beginning of a new year.

Any good intentions to improve or grow should be incorporated year round, and not be tied to some specific date on the calendar. There’s nothing more magical about January 1st than July 1st, or October 31st. Any “magic” happenings typically occur outside of one’s comfort zone on any various date.

Good intentions don’t pay the bills. It’s about action over apprehension.

SHUN the resolution…

Agree or disagree; just no apathy.

Happy New Year!

Stay tuned-in…


 

3 Kinds of People

3kindsofpeopleEver wonder why some people take action and accomplish much in life while others do not? This has always perplexed me, and made me wonder what personal characteristics and behaviors separate out those who have, from those who have not.

When referring to stepping up, accomplishing goals and making dreams a reality, I’ve found that people generally fall into one of three categories:

1. Those who DO: 

Doers don’t ask, they just act. They don’t declare, they just do. They are the embodiment of persistence as evidenced through their enthusiasm for what they do. They may be fearful and apprehensive at times; they may have occasional doubts; and they periodically get down; but this is often short-lived as these kinds of people have an inner strength that transcends their circumstances. Despite any temporary hesitations, these types always continue to move forward and go after that which they deem important regardless of roadblocks or barriers. Quite simply, they become successful because they HAVE to. Not doing what it takes is NOT an option. Not doing what it takes is more painful than the doing.

2. Those who DON’T: 

These are people who are victims, not victors. They constantly make excuses while rarely executing anything. They reject responsibility and routinely place blame. They are usually a part of the problem and unusually a part of the solution. They are quick to tell you why not and slow to tell you why. They may have dreams and passions, but they lack the courage to really pursue them. It’s easy to dream. It’s hard to continually muster the necessary courage, often in the face of opposition, to persevere and see things through… to do what they say can’t be done!

3. Those who THINK they DO:

This is arguably worse than #2 because the illusion exists that real progress is being made when it really isn’t. Most of these folks are convinced that they’re making progress because they are “busy” all the time. Their to-do lists are quite long, but their real output toward high-payoff activities is low, although they don’t see it that way. They frequently confuse busyness with productivity. They ARE NOT the same thing. These are the people that do a lot of talking about what they are going to do, what’s gonna happen, and what their plans are. They talk a good game, but execute poorly, if at all. Planning and preparation are good and necessary to get things underway, but ultimately, talk is cheap. You’re either DOING what you say or you’re not.

To paraphrase Tony Robbins:

‘When you’re constantly saying you should be doing this and should have done that… pretty soon you’re SHOULDING all over yourself.’

Make up your mind; talking and taking action are most often mutually exclusive.

So which kind of person are you? Which category do you find yourself in most often?

And is that OK with you?

Stay tuned-in…

The “Common Sense” Defense

Sooooo often… sooooo unbelievably often… I hear some variation of the following statement while out training, teaching, or speaking:

“I already ‘know’ all of this stuff; it’s all just ‘common sense‘…”

Really? Give me a break… It’s a BIG, ballsy statement if you really think about it.

Someone is basically saying: “There’s nothing you have to offer here that I’ve not already learned, been exposed to, or already mastered. Your entire life, life experiences, and acquired education can offer me nothing new and useful to apply to my life because I ALREADY KNOW EVERYTHING.”

Wow! Read it again and SAY it out loud this time; hear just how ridiculous this claim actually is…

CSD

By even making this assertion, you’re demonstrating the exact opposite of what you’re claiming. <Strike 1>. This supposed knowing indirectly asserts that the information is somehow less valuable because it’s “common” and therefore a commodity.

The BIG question you should be asking yourself: “Is this knowledge I claim to have evident in my actions?” If the answer is ‘No’ it doesn’t matter how much you ‘Know.’ It quickly becomes knowledge that is worth… less. Not worthless, just less valuable. <Strike 2>.

Knowledge is good. Acquire all you can. Learn, and then learn some more. Read and research ’til your heart’s content. But KNOW this: Knowing and doing are completely different. We all “know” lots of things. It doesn’t mean we consistently apply what we know. It’s not enough to know about something or to simply talk about something. We have to DO something and make things happen for the common to become uncommon. Recognizing this distinction and putting good knowledge into action to produce real, tangible results is rare.

Uncommon success in any area of life requires taking common sense on the road so-to-speak.

Those who are unable to bridge this knowledge-to-action gap (either because of oblivion or obstinance), are likely suffering from what I call the “Common Sense” Defense. This is a conscious and/or subconscious defense mechanism people use to manage their disappointment around their lack of progress or production in certain areas. This technique shields a person from the discomfort associated with facing themselves up-close-and-personal. This is so uncomfortable for many, that any method to avoid it will be employed. The most common tactic is to claim “common sense.”

“Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age 18.” ~ Albert Einstein

Smoking is an obvious, yet powerful example. No one will argue that smoking is hazardous for the health of the human body. People die from it every day. We can call this common sense because everybody knows it. Yet millions still smoke despite this common knowledge. History proves that the most profound wisdom and universal truths are simple to understand, yet often difficult to implement.

If your supposed knowledge is not evident in your actions; if I cannot “see” it demonstrated in your behavior, then this “knowledge” you claim is compromised, therefore inconsequential.

the shiFt:

Instead of proclaiming what you supposedly “know,” start demonstrating it in what you DO, everyday, in every way. Of course what some call common sense, others call crazy. It becomes a matter of perspective based on one’s social, cultural and educational background.

Soooo, to all of the “know-it-alls” out there, keep reading, listening, and watching here, there, and everywhere because YOU are the ones who likely Need It Most… If not, <Strike 3>…

Stay tuned-in…


Please share and click HERE for info on my Communichology course.

Get my articles and exclusive content with science-based insights to shiFt your communication from adequate to ass-kicking!


 

Movers & Shakers

You know the type…

Those ambitious people whose actions make it seem like everyone else is standing still. Those who are always going and doing and accomplishing things. Those who consistently make things happen. Those over-achievers who sometimes, if you’re being honest, piss you off.

You know the type, right?

These are the movers and shakers. The action-takers.

“The few who do are the envy of the many who only watch.” ~ Jim Rohn

Why do you think these types bug you at times?

Is it what they’re doing that’s bothering you?

Or…

Is it what you’re not doing that’s the real issue?

Love ’em or hate ’em, movers and shakers make you think.

They present you with two choices.

You either:

  1. ALIGN with them… (OR)
  2. ALIENATE from them…

Choosing to align with movers and shakers speaks volumes about you. It demonstrates confidence, security, and big-picture thinking.

Choosing to alienate from movers and shakers also speaks volumes. It communicates fear, insecurity, and short-sightedness.

The majority of people mistakenly and predictably choose the latter.

Their ego won’t allow the former.

True movers and shakers recognize other movers and shakers and jump at opportunities to align with them. They don’t operate in isolation. Part of the reason they are movers and shakers in the first place, is because they intuitively recognize the benefits and advantages of aligning themselves with other ambitious people. They understand that surrounding themselves with other similar, yet different types of talent, will push them to even greater heights. It’s a deliberate and premeditated form of marketing and persuasion. This is smart. And, this is rare.

But, make no mistake: moving and shaking isn’t for everyone. Players pay a price. You gotta feel the shake. It’s a double-edged sword sometimes.

“I envy people who can just look at a sunset. I wonder how you can shoot it. There is nothing more grotesque to me than a vacation.” ~ Dustin Hoffman

It’s hard to turn it off. And it’s hard to strike a balance at times. But it’s worth it, because the alternative is not.

So, don’t alienate the movers and shakers. Embrace them and align with them. Set yourself up to achieve even more by making the smarter moves and shakes.

Stay tuned-in…