Twenty-Five

25

Money. Power. Sex.

Studies show that these are the three primary human motivators from which all other motivations stem.

Everyone may not intellectually agree with them, but I’ll argue everyone emotionally understands them.

And therein lies the key distinction >> Show someone how to enhance their ability to achieve one or more of these >> earn more money, increase your personal or professional power or position, be more attractive or more appealing to the object(s) of your affection or desires >> and you’ll have their attention.

And getting others’ attention is the new currency in today’s content-soaked, attention-deficit, social media-saturated society.

Stay tuned-in…


Please share and click HERE for info on my Communichology course.

Get my articles and exclusive content with science-based insights to shiFt your communication from adequate to ass-kicking!


 

CWT-2: Buffet(t)

cwt-logo

Q&A on the Communichology™ of Pop Culture

Ricky Midway: So are we pronouncing this one buff-AY or buff-ETT?

Tom Leu: Both.

Both?

Yes, because I have a love/hate relationship with both.

You mean… “buffets” as in the “Old Country”-style large food conglomerations that are often over-populated particularly on Sunday mornings and on other assorted holidays?

Apropo description… Yes, that’s one of them.

And the other “buffet” you’re referring to is…?

Jimmy.

Jimmy Buffett? The singer/songwriter, “Margaritaville” dude?

The one and only.

So let me get this straight… this is about your love/hate relationship with food buffets (one T), and Jimmy Buffett (with two T’s) the musician?

Yes. And it’s hopefully going be “inspirational” in the process. Because I believe there’s a great lesson that exists within that which we like and dislike at the same time.

Okay. I’ll play along. So let’s start with buffet-style food. What’s the deal there?

It’s not so much the food as it is the way people act – around the food. I, like a lot of other people, love buffets for all the choices available. A plethora of seemingly unlimited food selections is one of my last surviving guilty pleasures in life. The whole “all-you-can-eat” concept is arguably a very unhealthy, yet alluring option. I hate buffets though because in my experience, most people’s manners go out the window at these places. With little regard for others who paid the same amount of money to be there; a lot of apparently very hungry individuals (and their impatient families) cut in line, crowd you, shoot you dirty looks, and otherwise operate as if they are more entitled to be there than you are.

Yeah… what the hell is that all about?

I think that as soon as some people enter a buffet-style-situation, a scarcity mentality kicks in and rears its ugly head. Despite the obvious abundance of food, these people seem to somehow, someway, begin to fear that the food is going to run out. That the well is going to dry up and they are literally going to starve to death right then and there in front of the turkey carving station… It’s really amazing to watch. The lesson here is that every time I witness this sort of behavior, it makes me (literally) step back and re-evaluate my own social etiquette and commit to improving myself because I don’t want to be that way, or worse, come off that way without realizing it…

And so you’re saying, (with your typical bit of exaggeration), that this scarcity mentality serves as a justification then for some people to be rude, inconsiderate, and intolerant?

Exactly; though I don’t think most even realize it whatsoever. This is why I rarely frequent buffets and actually hate them more than I love them.

Okay, but what does this have to do with Jimmy Buffett, the musician/marketing guru? I thought everyone liked Jimmy Buffett music? Scores of “parrotheads” flock to his annual summer concerts every year. You’re gonna piss off all the “Cheeseburger in Paradise” apologists by bashing him.

I love the idea of Jimmy Buffett’s music; not the actual music itself. Jimmy “sings” about sun, sand, beaches, vacations, margaritas, cheeseburgers, and the hyperbolic “paradise” of course. I love the feeling I get from the images he paints, and the stories he tells in his songs lyrically. That’s what makes him great. But his music is technically not great. And it’s grossly overplayed by every “classic pop/rock” radio station and bar band from coast-to-coast; which makes me hate it. Musically, the songs aren’t necessarily well-written, sang, or played. But therein lies Buffett’s genius. He knows this. Jimmy Buffett, the marketer, knows it’s the idea of his music, not the actuality that sells it. It’s not the actual chords, melodies or lyrics, but the emotion his music evokes in people that is its most redeeming quality and valuable contribution. These are the reasons why I actually love Jimmy Buffett’s music more than I hate it.

So you’re essentially saying that Jimmy Buffett banks on the notion that “Come Monday” the fantasy is often better than the reality?

Nicely put. And that’s exactly what I’m saying. That’s the lesson. Gene Simmons of KISS has said that he’s not in the music business; he’s in the emotion business. That’s never left me. It’s brilliant!

So how do you tie together lessons from the buffet (one T) with lessons from Buffett (two T’s)?

Whether at the buffet counter or the Buffett concert… even if the negatives are glaring; even if the nuances are elusive, take an extra second to look for the hidden positives to apply. There’s always more to “see” and that readily meets the eye. There’s always more to learn; more lessons to apply. They’re right there; just underneath the obvious for those paying attention.

So… pay attention to your attention?

Perfect.

**More Conversations with Tom archives.


 

Reality is Perception

Many years ago, one of my mentors used to tell me that “the world is as you are, not as it is…” It’s an interesting observation that has stuck with me ever since.

Things aren’t always what they seem to be; but they are what they seem to be to me, and to you. We make our world so small sometimes. Limited by the confines of our immediate surroundings, we mistakenly believe that what we see is all there is.

It isn’t.

How we “see things” influences how we “feel” about those things, which influences how we “act” upon those feelings.

How you think = How you are.

So… since our perception is our reality, doesn’t it make sense to change our perception when our reality is in need of change?

the shiFt:

Easier said than done, but no less possible. But how? How do we go about changing our perceptions?

Two ways:

1) Get honest about any long-held perceptions that may not serve you anymore. Fall out of love with the notion that your way of seeing things is the only “right” way. It rarely is. If you don’t have the objectivity to do this yourself, ask someone else who really knows you to help. >> Yes, it’s OK to ask for help. Asking for help = Strength)<<

2) Become willing to consider another perspective. Being willing doesn’t mean blindly agreeing. Do some homework and investigate other viewpoints for yourself. Sometimes the very act of trying to objectively challenge or support another perspective exposes new information that was unseen and/or unknown before.

Few like to change. Change is often scary and makes people defensive and resistant. Change is hard. But change is also necessary for progress and growth.

“If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” ~ Dr. Wayne Dyer

Think back one, five, even ten or more years ago… how much have you changed? Is “as you are” today driving you in the direction you want to be tomorrow? If not, then keep what’s working, and get rid of the rest. Your “world” depends on it. Pay attention to your perception.

For more >> www.RecoveryCollective.net

Stay tuned-in…