Sixty-Six

66

Not a super “hot” topic, but very important nonetheless, and in my estimation, lacking considerably in many scenarios, much of the time.

Consider this >> CONSIDERATION… not meant in the sense of thinking about something, but as in being considerate. As in thinking of others before ourselves.

*Considerate (adjective) = being aware of and respecting other people’s feelings; having or showing regard for others; thoughtful (dictionary.com).

Contrary to [some] popular belief, it DOES pay to be considerate. Here are five advantageous reasons:

  1. Others will respect you more, personally and professionally, because of your ability to practice what you preach.
  2. This respect will multiply the people who want to be around you because you’re generally more likable.
  3. This better positions you socially which improves your personal and professional networking and advancement opportunities.
  4. It’s polite and proper etiquette.
  5. It’s contagious…

Despite how you may be feeling at any given moment, consider others’ feelings when you interact with them. Smile; listen; be nice; and be considerate. >> Always strive to be more kind than you feel. It starts with each of us individually. We all contribute to our culture. Imagine the possibilities if everyone committed to this every day…

Stay tuned-in…


 

eti-QUIT

please_thank youI’m convinced that for many, dare I say MOST people, simple common courtesy is an extinct, and outdated concept. “Do this, do that, I need this, I want that, and I want it all right NOW!” Rarely does a “please, thank you, I appreciate that, I know you’re busy but… or, if there’s anything you need from me, etc.” ever come out of people’s mouths or appear in their emails or texts. They’re all just orders poorly disguised as requests.

So many are in a hurry, inconsiderate, impatient, and too selfish and self-absorbed to consider the possiblity that a little common courtesy and etiquette can go a long, long way in achieving their needs they’re requesting FROM OTHERS. They’ve simply quit their etiquette…

Hey Assholes: You’re not the alpha and the omega, nor do you sit squarely in the center of the universe. You’re also not the only ones who are busy, have deadlines, and needs to be met. Take the extra 2-to-3 seconds necessary to say “please” and “thank you,” etc.

Demonstrate that you’re at least a smidge more socially skilled than a common caveman, and are at least somewhat aware of the power of properly-placed politeness if you hope to ever get me to respond to any request you ask and/or demand of me.

Because in the end, nice wins.

– Signed: Not an inconsiderate fuck.

Agree or disagree; just no apathy.

Stay tuned-in…

The Loud Talker

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Ah yes, the “loud-talker” in public… you know who I’m talking about… hopefully it’s not you.

This is an interesting breed of apparently oblivious (though not always), self-indulgent gems who make it their mission to ensure EVERYONE within earshot can hear every bullshit detail of their entire fucking conversation whether welcomed or not.

These self-centered fucks don’t give two shits about anyone else around them, nor about how their intrusive, light-belligerent behavior is negatively affecting others. You see, most people are too nice to say anything to these ass-hats because in a civilized society, most just don’t do that out of respect.

Most of us prefer to avoid making a scene, and being perceived as a dick… because most NORMAL people aren’t acting like impetuous attention-whores, and HAVE respect for others’ in public.

What I love most about these obnoxious, often obfuscating types, is their blaring self-delusion that people, (often even those in their immediate company), actually give two fucks about the…

“900-page-book-they-just read-in-one-day, while-staying-up-to-3:30-in-morning, doing-laundry, flustered-by-the-fact-that-they-just-can’t-seem-to-find-a-job-to-save-their-fucking-life…”

I’m sorry, what was that? I couldn’t tune you out, nor ignore you even from the other side of the goddamn room because you’re talking so fucking LOUD… Here’s a tip: how about a nice warm glass of shut-the-hell-up, before I come over there an shut your pie hole up for you… word to the wise.

Stay tuned-in…


 

Thanks, for Nothing

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This entire post SHOULD be unnecessary, but unfortunately it’s not. To me, this all goes without saying… But I’m gonna say it anyway in the hopes that even just one person receives this message the way it’s intended. And that intention is simply to improve the way people communicate with each other, one interaction at a time. That’s the overarching goal of the talk shiFt series, and the manifesto of this site for that matter.

So here it is… the simple act of recognizing a job well done, and the subsequent and appropriate “thank you” response seems to be lost on many people in my experience.

Really, I mean really, how fucking hard is it to say “nice job” or “great work” or something to that effect to someone when it’s deserved?

And then, IF someone who actually has a fucking clue, makes the effort to extend such a compliment, how fucking hard is it to reply with the appropriate “thank you” response?

Apparently this is goddamn rocket science to some. It must be, because I see a lack of this basic Etiquette 101 running rampant repeatedly.

Now, from a psychological perspective, I get it… Some are uncomfortable with interpersonal communication. Some are uncomfortable with praise. Hell, some are just flat uncomfortable with people in general.

So what to do?

the shiFt:

Push the fuck through it. Own your shortcomings, take the feedback, and be willing to grow as a human being and improve.

When you fail at common courtesy, you leave a lasting, and lame impression of you as a person. It matters little if this impression is accurate or not because  with human nature, reality is perception.

So do YOURSELF a favor… say nice things when nice things are necessary, and say “thank you” when complimented. It’s simple. Because remember: there’s no honor in being a dick.

Agree or disagree; just no apathy.

Stay tuned-in…

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the talk shiFt Top 10: Part Two

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The talk shiFt Top 10 (Part Two)… Violations & Absurdities

>> Part One (1-5)

6. Suspension of Disbelief – This is it’s own post… likely even its own book one day. Many folks believe in fairly tales. The internet is a full-on free-for-all proving this assertion. Everybody needs to believe some types of fantasy to make them feel better about their lives… be it adherence to a religious belief, a political ideation, or even just a strong devotion to some certain sports team, etc. Since so much in life is out of our control, psychologically speaking, this is a mechanism to gain 1) certainty and 2) inclusion. Suspending disbelief despite prevalent contrary facts, is very powerful because it meets both of these strong needs all humans require. People want to feel in control, and they want to belong to something that is shared with other like-minded individuals. HOWEVER, it’s reprehensible for otherwise intelligent and responsible adults to deliberately choose to suspend disbelief in favor of self-soothing at best, or self-aggrandizing at worst. We all have a responsibility to seek facts and data to support the facts about the world in which we live. It’s the responsibility of a productive, civilized society. You owe it to yourself, and your kids (if you have any or plan to have any), to CHOOSE to objectively investigate and test any beliefs you hold against facts and data. Any strongly held belief you or I have will  hold up to any scrutiny IF it’s in fact, valid and true.

7. Slow/No Return Communication – Pretty self-explanatory, but worthy of a spot on this list because of it’s rampantness and potential big-picture impact. Listen, I understand that everyone has a (formal or informal) priority list of to-do’s and to-dont’s that take precedence in your life. Things to do and people to do them with are ranked in our (perceived) order of importance. Some stuff, and some people are low-totem pole priorities to us. (Note: this entry does not apply to spammers and telemarketers, etc., but to those we do have some kind of ongoing and necessary relationship with). However, even lower priority people and priorities do not exempt you or I from the common (professional or personal) courtesy of a reasonably timely response. Even the simple, but often under-exectuted gesture: “Sorry, I’m really busy right now, but will get back to you at some point in the future when I finally scrub my non-important people messages” is better than nothing. The key point here is to avoid looking like a complete tool by taking the 30 seconds necessary to acknowledge peoples’ inquiries, and let them know where you’re at and where they stand currently. This speaks volumes of professionalism about you. The opposite is also true.

8. eti-QUIT – This a distant cousin of #7, but more acute and chronic. It’s best explained with two common examples: 1) “The Near Collision” – Two people nearly collide in a public place due to happenstance. What’s the best next response from BOTH parties in this circumstance? Smile and fucking say “Excuse me,” or “I’m sorry,” or some other pleasantry acknowledging the no-fault snafu. Exchange a slightly embarrassed chuckle or chortle perhaps, and then move on. 2) “The Non Thank You” – Someone does something, or anything remotely resembling a kind act for another (hold a door open, pick up something dropped, etc.), and the recipient fails or refuses to acknowledge the gesture. Seemingly benign, but sends a deafening message. Inconsiderate, insensitive, and insolent are a few choice adjectives that immediately come to mind. Another loud and clear message is being sent about the person failing to demonstrate common courtesy. People don’t forget that shit… Read more on this here.

9. Obnoxious Intoxication – Big mouth, big mess. Stop it, stay home, stick your head back up your ass, and stay away from public places. Your intrusive ways are not warranted or welcome. Public intoxication of any sort is the best way to announce to the world that you’re a fucking dick. Oh, so you’ve got family, emotional, psychological, or just life problems in general? I’m sorry. We all do. Go seek help somewhere. Your problems aren’t an excuse for bad behavior. Own your own shit if you ever hope to get better. Your problems aren’t the world’s fault. They’re yours, however they came into your life. It starts with you. Recovery from anything is a choice, and it’s a lifestyle. Go get it. In the meantime, stay the hell out of my face while choosing to self-medicate to ridiculous degrees. It’s you who’s losing in the long-run.

10. Not Speaking Up – Yes, not sharing your point-of-view [appropriately] is a violation, and is also absurd. Why won’t some people speak up? Answer = fear. Fear of being disagreed with and/or fear of being ridiculed. For those truly willing to listen to (not just wait to refute) another’s ideas and opinions, the opportunity to learn and grow exists. This necessitates a willingness to be challenged, and an openness to change; two areas often void of volunteers. Of course we’re not all going to always agree, but I assert that our collective closed-mindedness is one of the most damaging dogmas of all.

11. (BONUS) Speaking Up – Some people ALWAYS have something to say even when they have little to contribute. Ego-maniacs and those who operate as if they’re the alpha & omega exhibit the equally problematic polar opposite condition of #10 above which is arguably much worse. For these folks, it’s as if the sound of their own voice is music from “heaven” that can cure all the world’s ills. You see, there is a time and a place to shut the hell up. There is a time and a place to hold your tongue and really objectively LISTEN to to others’ contributions. We can ALL learn from others, but not if we’re the all-tell, little-listen type. No one has all the answers, and everyone suffers from various forms of cognitive bias at times that negatively affect our perceptions and ability to reason rationally. Those who come off like know-it-all’s are far less effective than they think they are. It’s not lost on the rest of us who are actively tuned-in and see things. Balancing when to speak up and when not to speak up is an art form that time and experience best influence and affect. As with all items on this Top 10 list, it’s obvious when you’ve got it, and it’s painfully obvious when you don’t.

Agree or disagree; just no apathy.

Check out Part One (1-5)

Stay tuned-in…