Tom Leu


The situation: When attempting to help or assist others, it’s simple: First, identify the problem; then provide a solution, right? Put another way: know their need, then give them what they want. Sounds simple, but it’s anything but…

The challenge: People want what they want over what they need. But when giving, most of us default to giving others what we think they need… not what they actually want. This is obviously produces a disconnect, and results in many communication breakdowns.

The shiFt: 1) Listen with the intent to hear what others really want. It often differs from what you think they need. You may be right, but attempting to force feed someone what they need vs. what they want is a dead-end road. Makes things worse most of the time. 2) You have to present what you know they need into a package that they believe they actually want. 3) Finally, you have to make it appear like the solution is actually their idea, not yours. How do you do this? It starts with demonstrating genuine empathy by doing much more asking of questions than telling. It must appear that your interest is more about them, and their plight, rather than your point-of-view. This is a process that requires masterful communication skills combined with a better than basic understanding of human psychology to pull off effectively ongoing.

Enter the science and art of Communichology™… Subscribe here.

Stay tuned-in…


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